Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Philly Eagles, SUPER BOWL and Kelce!

This blog is dedicated to UNDERDOGS everywhere.

This past Sunday at Super Bowl LII, the Eagles became the world champions versus the New England Patriots 41-33!!! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE GAME! I have so many emotions still swirling around my head.

I helped bartend at the Lake Wynonah Lodge that day to an awesome group of loyal fans and loyal friends. Just an incredible, incredible day. I was the Master of the give-aways and jokingly put myself on "Crock-Pot" duty taking care of the food. 

When those final seconds counted down and we won, I think we were all in shock! We did it! Back slaps, high-fives, bear hugs, and celebratory shots all around! It became the Philadelphia Eagles, in fact, ALL OF PHILLY's first Super Bowl win! We are WORLD CHAMPIONS!

I still get chills from that moment. I went home and stayed up late, still on an emotional high, and watched Philly going crazy, watching the recaps, and all the emotional speeches from the players.


Yes, some knuckle-heads did some fucked up things but luckily the city survived. My own former workplace haunt, the Ritz-Carlton Philly, didn't even survived unscathed with idiots taking down the blue awning. Again, idiots. 

That week, we waited in anticipation for the incredible parade through Philly on Thursday. I watched from my phone throughout lunch and let's just say I didn't get much work done that week. I have never experienced such a love and camaraderie amongst fans. 

I loved going through all the pics posted on Facebook and Instagram by my friends, classmates, former co-workers all going to the parade. I have never had such a warm heart and love for my hometown of Philly. 

Yes I grew up, was raised and will always have Wenonah, NJ, as my true hometown but PHILLY is where I grew up and found myself during my 20s. PHILLY will always be in my heart as my home. I am Philly bred. PHILLY is my attitude and when I'm drunk, I do say YO!!! Someone this weekend mentioned my Philly accent and I didn't realize that I still have it. And it made me proud. 

A couple things stand out from these past couple weeks: 

Philly EMBRACED and loved their Underdog status!
Following all this with my fellow Philly natives including my sis Sher.
Watching my San Diego brother Adam remain tried and true to his Philly Eagles roots.
Going back and forth with my DC gal Wendy with Eagles' memes. 
Everyone wearing dog masks.
Nick Foles' class and his little kiddo wearing huge headphones at the end of the game.
Tom Brady not shaking Nick Foles' hand after the win. ASS.
Crisco poles. LOL
Giving away tubs of Crisco and dog biscuits at the Super Bowl party.
Living vicariously through my fraternity brother Alex who was there!
My high school bud Copey's passion and FB posts.
My green hair almost did not wash out. LOL 
Carson Wentz graciousness and maturity as the team leader but giving Nick Foles' his space and deserved time in the spotlight.
MVP Foles
Chris Long's commitment and passion to his causes and what he believes in. 
Mychal Kendrick's class and maturity. He's a great speaker. 
Coach Doug Pederson's coaching, drive, and true grit. 
Watching/hearing all the emotions of all the Philly announcers on TV, Comcast, and WIP.
The awesome parade seeing everyone celebrate and come together! 
Jason Kelce in his Mummer costume. COUNTLESS memes of Jason Kelce all over the internet! 

Jason Kelce is PHILLY.
And LASTLY, center Jason Kelce's just incredible, incredible passion, team spirit, PHILLY spirit and voice for this team and all of Philadelphia! I watched his speech over and over again and just get chills. As my Ritz-Carlton friend Anastacia said, "He's more Philly than almost all of Philly itself!" The first time I heard the speech, it brought me to tears. Enjoy his speech below again and again. I included the transcript from so you can get the full effect of such great words.

This man below, this lion, is Philly's true heart and spirit. Kelce will always be remembered for igniting Philly's passion and saying what we all felt. Nick Foles will always be Super Bowl LII's MVP but Jason Kelce will always be our parade MVP and Philly mascot! Move over Billy Penn!

Jason Kelce's speech (censored) from ESPN:

Unforunately, ESPN has taken the gracious liberty of forbidding sites from embedding certain versions. Here's a link the awesome UNCENSORED version:  
THANKs 31Mike! (Youtube) 

Jason Kelce's speech (transcript): 

If you love Philadelphia Eagles, let me get a "HELL YEAH!"


I'm going to take a second to talk to you about under dogs. I know Lane and Chris just talked about this, but I don't think it's been beat home enough.

Howie Roseman, a few years ago, was relinquished of all control pretty much in this organization ... He was put in the side HEY! HEY! ... of the building where I didn't see him for over a year.

Two years ago, when they made a decision, he came out of there a different man. He came out of there with a purpose and a drive to make this possible. And I saw a different Howie Roseman. An underdog.

Doug Pederson.

When Doug Pederson was hired, he was rated as the worst coaching hire by a lot of freaking analysts out there in the media. This past off-season, some clown named Mike Lombardi told him that he was the least-qualified head coach in the NFL. 

You saw a driven Doug Pederson, a man who went for it on fourth and down, went for it on fourth and down ... in the Super Bowl ... with a trick play. He wasn't playing just to go mediocre. He's playing for a Super Bowl.

And it don't stop with him. It does not stop with him.

Jason Peters was told he was too old, didn't have it anymore. Before he got hurt, he was the best freaking tackle in the NFL.

Big V was told he didn't have it. 

Stefen Wisniewski ain't good enough.

Jason Kelce is too small.

Lane Johnson can't lay off the juice.

Brandon Brooks has anxiety.

Carson Wentz didn't go to Division I school.

Nick Foles don't got it.

Corey Clement's too slow. 

LeGarrette Blount ain't got it anymore.

Jay Ajayi can't stay healthy.

Torrey Smith can't catch.

Nelson Agholor can't catch.

Zach Ertz can't block.

Brent Celek's too old.

Brandon Graham was drafted too high. 

Vinny Curry ain't got it.

Beau Allen can't fit the scheme.

Mychal Kendricks can't fit the scheme.

Nigel Bradham can't catch.

Jalen Mills can't cover.

Patrick Robinson can't cover.

It's the whole team! It's the whole team! 

This entire organization, with a bunch of driven men who accomplished something. We were a bunch of underdogs. And you know what an underdog is? It's a hungry dog. And Jeff Stoutland has had this in our building for five years -- it's a quote in the O-line room that has stood on the wall for the last five years -- "Hungry dogs run faster." And that's this team!

Bottom line is, we wanted it more. All the players. All the coaches. The front office. Jeffrey Lurie. Everybody wanted it more. And that's why we're up here today. And that's why we're the first team in Eagles history to hold that freakin' trophy. 

Any of you know who the biggest underdog is? It's y'all, Philadelphia. For 52 years, y'all have been waiting for this. You want to talk about an underdog? You want to talk about a hungry dog? For 52 years, you've been starved of this championship. 

Everybody wonders why we're so mean. Everybody wonders why the Philadelphia Eagles aren't the nicest fans. If I don't eat breakfast, I'm fucking pissed off. 

No one wanted us. No one liked this team. No analyst like this team to win the Super Bowl and nobody likes our fans. And you know what? I just heard one of the best chants this past day, and it's one of my favorites and it's new, and I hope you learn it. 

Because I'm about to drop it right now. 

You know what I got to say to all those people who doubted us, all those people that counted us out, and everybody who said we couldn't get it done? 

What my man Jay Ajayi just said: Fuck you!

SINGING: "No one likes us. No one likes us. No one likes us. We don't care. We're from Philly. Fucking Philly. No one likes us. We don't care. No one likes us. No one likes us. No one likes us. We don't care. We're from Philly. Fucking Philly. No one likes us. We don't care!" 

E-A-G-L-E-S!  EAGLES!!! 

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Sick and the BRAT Diet


With trepidation, I have been reading about my sick friends on Facebook. Some have even done selfies in the hospital wearing masks! Now THAT's selfie dedication. LOL. But seriously, at work, some sicky thing has been going through one of the units. I have been spraying down my computer and door knobs with Lysol, using plenty of hand sanitizer, washing my hands frequently, and relegating my clients to "separate" pens for signing documents. I seriously do! Working in social services exposes you to tons of people with who knows possibly what. I can't afford to be sick!

I read that the Lehigh Valley Hospital has set up flu tents. It is becoming a cause for concern. The CDC states that the flu epidemic has not yet peaked. You hear of of dozens of children across the country extremely ill from the flu or have died!

According to "The CDC's latest incluenza report shows that at least 53 children have died from the flu this season, including 16 just last week.

This doesn't even include people catching colds or sinus infections. Obviously, if you're sick, you should be staying home. I know that's not possible for some depending on the position. Just realize though, that if you are sick and at work, you risk infecting your entire office.

I was sick twice in December and early January with a reoccurring sinus infection. After a bout of antibiotics, I finally rid if from my system. Before that, I had a really good healthy run, being sick only way back in August 2016. I take care of myself for the most part and stay healthy by good diet, exercise, vitamins, and getting my sleep. Burning the candle at both ends brings down your immune system. I'll stress it again, you need your rest and sleep.

I remember getting mononucleosis back when I was 11 years old. I spent four longs weeks home from school, each day rising in my bedroom to then spend the day in my parent's huge bed, drifting in and out of sleep while watching endless TV. Mom would come in and watch the "soaps" each afternoon. I became pretty good at naming all the characters in my Mom's soap operas whether I like it or not! Luke, Laura, Scorpio, and the Cassadine clan on "General Hospital". Ha-ha! I knew them all! 😊

She and Dad bought me books and puzzles to help pass the time. One afternoon, she came in with a "Masters of the Universe" Skeletor toy action figure! I was so excited. I still have him in a box somewhere in the attic. I remember the happiness of that day like it was yesterday. Minus the mono of course. Ha-ha. It's one of my favorite memories and was always a favorite toy of mine after that.

Mom taught me a lot about taking care of myself when I am sick. Drink plenty of liquids. Chicken soup (Jewish penicillin) really does help you. Get your rest. Invest in good tissues, soft toilet paper, and VICKS Vapor Rub. And if you have stomach issues, follow the BRAT diet.

One of my friends asked me the other week what the BRAT diet was. I was shocked that she had not heard of it. I thought it was universally known. I guess not but the concept is pretty basic. You eat only certain foods which will not aggravate your sensitive stomach and system.  It's kinda blah but it's very easy on the stomach until your intestinal system balances itself out again.

The BRAT diet consists of Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast. Pretty simple, huh? Forget the curry, forget the jalapeno poppers, forget the chili con carne, forget those hot wings and pretty much anything fried. Once you follow the BRAT diet for a couple days, start introducing other non-spicy or non-acidic foods into your diet. It's all about calming your system.

The BRAT diet also works for the first couple days after food poisoning or post surgery. But honestly, as much as I swear by the BRAT diet, I worship my Mom's chicken soup recipe, which actually was handed down from my Nana. Jewish Penicillin is the bomb when you're sick!

Here's my blog on my Mom's Chicken Soup:

Take care of yourself! Spring is just a less than 6 weeks away!
Remember, if you do not get better, get your arse over to the Doctor!

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Too Many Watches


I started this year off with a resolve to declutter myself a bit more. Not completely, for you see that would be impossible. I like bric-a-brac and tchotchkes which I think bemoans the very essence of clutter.

I often joke that I schedule a social event once a season in my household just so I can attempt to get it all dusted 4 times a year. As I get older, a social event for me entails my sister coming for a visit. And when it all comes down to it, as long as I have the kitchen, bathroom and her guest room cleaned I feel I have done my job. I often hear my mother's voice in my head chastising me, "Now make sure the bathroom is cleaned for your sister!"

I decided to tackle my watches this past week and go through them trying to decide which ones to keep and which ones to toss.

I have several watch "faces" without bands. Two are silver toned Kenneth Cole. There are two others, no name watches which I picked up here or there. One has a black face, the other is a gold tone. There are two other sports digital watches which need batteries. Then I have a bunch of mis-matched watch bands, some leather, some plastic.

I figured I could match up the watch bands with these poor bandless watch faces. I tried mixing and matching and NONE fit! Of course none fit, why would they? GRRRR. I took the ones which were in need of a battery to Walmart to replace the battery and was told by the 20-something idiot behind the watch counter that they are not allowed to change the batteries because if they damage your watch, they're liable. Are ya kidding me? This is a $15 junk watch! I don't care! "Nope. Sorry Sir, against Walmart policy."  I left in a huff. Well that was four years ago and I still haven't bought batteries for them.

One word: TOSS!!!!

During my most recent visit to see my Dad in California he gifted me his black banded gold Gucci watch. I remember it way back to the early eighties when he and Mom bought matching watches. It is not too large, discrete, but so full of memories. That one is a keeper for sure. I wore it once over the holidays and will take it out for special occasions.

I just bought a Fossil brand watch at a yard sale this past Fall. It was new in the box, has a large brown metal face which is popular with the kids these days. It was cheap, only $10.00, new in box and normally retailed for $75.00! I was so excited.  I took it home in the box and opened it up and crystal had cracked. What the what??? It's not like I threw in a bunch of pebbles in the box with it to jangle around!  Seeing that the crystal broke so easy, I figured it was probably hot or fell off a truck somewhere. I never wore it. Just too much trouble to get the crystal replaced. TOSS!

A friend bought me a Western-style sterling silver watch with inlaid turquoise which ironically matches a Native American sterling silver turquoise ring which my Dad gave me a couple years back. I don't wear them often, usually just when I'm seeing my Dad in California. The watch and ring mean a lot so I'm going to keep them both.

My all-time favorite watch is my Grandpop's Gold Omega from the 1950s. It's beautiful and fits perfectly. I had it cleaned up back in the 90s. The problem is that I went away on vacation a year ago and hid it in the house. Now I can't remember where I hid it. Let me add that as #1 of the things I need to complete this month. FIND THAT WATCH.

I have a favorite old rugged black Timex I bought at a mall about 8 years ago when malls were still open. I like this one and will keep it. It's dinged up but still works fine. As they say about those Timex watches, "It takes a licking and keeps on ticking."  It will probably keep ticking long after all the other watches have died.

One watch that I loved which I no longer have was a flea-market find! One morning, I ended up finding a dirty Tag Heuer watch in a pile of old watches and snatched that puppy up for $20.00! I cleaned it up and found that the retail price was  over $500.00! I enjoyed it for several years and then had it stolen out of my locker at an old gym. I was pretty bummed but then remembered I only paid $20.00 for it. Easy come, easy go.

After spending all this time going through my watches, I then realized I rarely wear one anymore! I get the time off of my computer, the TV, my car, or my cell phone. Well at least I decluttered myself of several of them.

Now to tackle all of those old cell phones sitting in my desk drawer. I think it's time I trash that  Motorola Razr from 2005 not to mention the LG with the QUERTY  slide-out keyboard from 2010. I think my Grandpop's 1950's Omega is more reliable than any of the cell phones these days. My memory ... not so much.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Don't Just "BE", Be Someone YOU Would Look Up To

"The Thinker" by Auguste Rodin

Coming off the holidays can always be a bit melancholy but this year it hit me kinda hard. My personal demons that I sometimes wrestle with reared their ugly heads. It's been a tough last couple weeks. It takes a lot to recognize that I need to work on these demons and that's what I will do.

I've not been very happy with myself lately and I would not look up to that person that I've been. The specifics are not necessary but I will tell you that I received a jump start in the last couple days which has allowed me to take a good hard look at what I am doing and where I am going. Believe me, it was an extremely difficult hard thing to do. But ultimately, it's a good thing.

I just don't want to "be" ... to exist. I want to grow emotional, physically, and mentally. I want to be someone that I would look up to. I feel like I sometimes let myself down. So how to get back to that place? I need to re-evaluate my path, my destination, my end game. What do I want out of life?

Your path involves what you do on a day to day basis. How do you interact with others? Are you friendly? Are you giving off negative vibes? What is troubling you deep inside? Negative energy affects those around you. It's ugly. Sometimes though, you don't realize that what is troubling you deep down inside you is affecting your day to day decisions OR it rears up it's ugly head when you least expect it to. That's what happened to me.

I need to delve into my inner depths and finally deal with certain things in my life. It's some stuff that I have control over and other stuff which I have absolutely NO control over whatsoever. I feel like it drives me crazy. And it just sucks. One of the those things to this day is that lack of control I had over my mother's death. It just kills me emotionally. I am so angry still. It's time to deal with that because it's not going away. It manifests itself in many ways which I would never expect. An angry individual is an ugly individual. I don't like how I look when I get that way.

I want to be someone I would look up to. That means striving to deal with issues in my life in a pragmatic rational manner and not immediately reacting emotionally. Realizing as well what I can control and what I can't. It's not as easy as it looks.

I want to be seen as dependable, trustworthy and respected personally and professionally. My twenties, although fun, were a mess. I was constantly out until all hours of the night. I was all over the place emotionally and physically. If I had met me then I wouldn't have given the me a second of my time. For a lot of the time, looking back, I was an asshole. I NEVER want to go back to that Marc.

It also means being someone who is there for others whether needed or not. And if I am needed, doing what is necessary without looking for thanks. I pride myself in being one who will stop at an accident if needed. Hold the door for someone. Help someone carry something in. I do this now and will continue to do it.

So onward and upward. I am a continued work in progress that sometimes slips and falls. I get back up and charge forward. It's a challenge of course. Dealing with life's obstacles always is. But until I deal with these issues, they will always be hanging over my head, threatening to wreak havoc on my life. I've worked so hard for what I've accomplished in various aspects of my life. I cannot let "out of control emotions" ruin my accomplishments.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Miss Morag's Vision from Scotland

Glen Lyon, Scotland

BLOGGERS note: I wrote this blog with the permission and knowledge of my friend Morag Donlevy. In addition, the pic above is not my photo but from the website
I wanted a photo to represent the beauty of this country.

MY dear friend Morag hails from Scotland. She's lived in the US for many many years but will always have strong ties to her homeland, as well as a delightfully beautiful accent. Her husband Matthew's accent is much stronger. I often tease that I use Morag to translate Matthew's strong "Scottish brogue" for me.

Morag recently had to travel back to her ancestral home to sadly say farewell to her Mother whom she lovingly called her "Wee Mammy".  At age 95, she was the youngest of 13, and the last one to pass. I followed Morag's Facebook posts from Scotland feeling as if I were there next to her on her journey home.

The only regret I have is not being able to hug a friend in time of need. Her description of the events leading up to her Mother's passing brought back such strong memories of my own Mom's passing.

As Morag so eloquently wrote, "Till we meet again, stay peacefully in the arms of angels."

One small post captured my emotional heart so strongly. It was beautiful. An incredible passage from an incredible woman. What makes Morag so endearing is her humbleness as well. I had approached her over a glass of Scotch and stated that I wanted to write a blog around the passage below and told her how beautiful it was. In her true humble nature, Morag responded, "Oh it's nothing, just nothing. I couldn't sleep." No Morag, it wasn't just nothing. It rivals my best writing. It moved me.

Miss Morag wrote:
Good morning from Scotland.  I didn’t sleep till about 2:00 a.m. for no reason other than the wind.  It brought back so many memories.  It truly howled...  I stayed awake to look and listen.  At one point the rain changed to sleet and as it landed on the window; streetlights caused it to sparkle like diamonds.  Finally, the wind blew the window closed and the room was quiet.  I fell asleep.  I will never forget it.

I am blessed to have become closer with Morag and her husband Matthew. I would do anything for these two. I consider them close friends and family. One evening Morag pulled me closer to speak with her.

She stated "Now I know I cannot replace your mother and will never try but I want to be your Mother here in Lake Wynonah." Without hesitation, I said absolutely.

Morag, I proudly call you my Scottish Mum.

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Some Advice from Morticia Addams...

A little advice from Morticia Addams going into the New Year...

We need to remember this when we see someone who does not fit into our standards of normal. I am not by any means advocating chaos, but instead, advocating acceptance to those who choose to live their lives outside of the box without the fear of repercussion.

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Bartending on a Yacht

An example of a 150 ft yacht! (Not my pic) 

Back in the 90's, I used to cater in Center City Philly for an upper end private catering company run by my sister's friend Jane. I was very fortunate to work with a group of fun people at some of the swankiest penthouses and luxurious homes in Society Hill, Rittenhouse Square, the Art Museum neighborhood, and the Mainline in Philly.

Most of the clients were extremely gracious. You had a group of plucky 20 something waiters or bartenders working our hardest for Jane because she also became a very good friend. We wanted to see her succeed. My sister got me the "in" working for Jane and I worked for her for a good 8 years off and on.

Many of these catering gigs stand out. They either involved crazy parties with drunk wealthy people, Philadelphia celebrities, or over the top parties that only that type of money can buy. One stood out in particular. I was to bartend on a large yacht moored in the Delaware River just north of the Ben Franklin Bridge.

Of course, names are changed to protect the obscenely wealthy. LOL. One week in the late 90's, Jane  called me to see if I wanted to bartend with my friend Monica at a swank cocktail party on a yacht. I figured it was on the famous Philly sightseeing boat, the Spirit of Philadelphia. Jane said no, this one will be on a 150 foot yacht called the "Evening Star" owned by the 80 year old Philly business man who owns an extremely successful auto transmission and repair chain. (Let's call him Big Daddy).

I arrived at the marina and asked a dockworker which boat was the Evening Star. He laughed and pointed to the end of the dock. "The biggest one there is kiddo!" I looked over and gulped. Before me was a 150 foot long yacht, the largest I had ever seen. WOW, I thought, so this is what money can buy.

I walked up the gang-way and was greeted by Andrea, a smartly dressed woman with an awesome accent who crisply directed me to quickly come on board. I later learned that Andrea was from South Africa (hence, her exotic accent) and was the Chief Stew (steward) which meant if she said jump, I would ask how high?

I was set up in the main salon at the bar and told to direct questions to either herself or the chef in the back galley kitchen. It was an extremely modern and luxurious space to work in. The only odd thing about the interior I disliked was the ugly white shag carpeting all over the place. It was 90's modern and chic with a throwback to the 70's.

Soon my friend Monica showed up and began helping out Andrea and her crew get ready for the cocktail party while I just stood around being nosey and poking into everything. I found out that everything on a yacht or boat has it's place and everything is usually in a cabinet which has a latch on it. It throws you off as you're used to just opening cabinets and drawers freely without having to 'unlatch' them.

I was also directed and then further scolded on where and where not to go on the yacht. Andrea said "You stand there, serve drinks, go NO WHERE ELSE. You aren't being paid to wander." Okaaaaay. I get it, I was the hired help. I'd done that many times before and it was just part of the gig.

I did wander off to the powder room for a bit. I asked Andrea where the 'head' was thinking that since I was on a big boat, I might as well use the lingo. She quickly admonished me, "EUW! It's not the 'head'! Where do you think you are, a Navy battleship???" I was told to NOT use the guest powder room and I could use the crew bathroom down those steps, make a right, and it's on the 3rd door down. Of course I got lost. But I was in the crew area so there wasn't anything exciting to see.

After a bit, the guests arrived and I was soon serving martinis, Manhattans, and glasses of Champagne. Big Daddy soon came up from the main stateroom. He was a short statured man dressed in your faux "captain" sailing suit. That's the only way I could describe it. It was ridiculous. He was wearing yachting clothes which probably only get worn once a year. You could tell he was in his 80s but he looked oddly younger. Like "major work done" younger. His skin was pulled back tight, almost glisteningly shiny from peels but overtly tanned, had plugs, and wore the largest pair of sunglasses (indoors) that I had ever seen. Think the male version of Jackie-O shades. It was rather cartoonish.

We didn't have much conversation. Again, I was the help. But he was a very gracious man. His wife, Lana, then strode in. She stood a good 1 1/2 feet taller than him, at least 6 ft tall. Gorgeous in a long flowing navy blue wrap dress, and looked at least thirty years younger than he. She may have been even younger. I later found out that this was not his first wife. IMAGINE THAT.

She was lovely, tanned and tight faced. Luckily that garish lip and cheek plumping was not yet in Vogue with the wealthy. She had work done but didn't look too fake ... but still looked like a tanned Kabuki doll. Diamonds were dripping from her ears, dripping into her decolletage, and hanging off her wrists. She reminded me of the 70's/80's actress Leslie Ann Warren ... except with large chic-let teeth. I could've been on an episode of the Love Boat! Where was Gopher, Isaac, or Doc when I needed them?

The cocktail cruise got underway and all we did was sail up and down the Delaware several times. BORING. No high seas for me! I later learned that Big Daddy has always been extremely seasick and only had the yacht because it was the wealthy thing to do. They would have the yacht sailed down to the islands and then FLY their plane down to meet the yacht! They would stay overnight on the yacht, host parties, but never go out further than the harbor. Then, they'd FLY to the next island and the yacht would sail to meet them! YES, it was that ridiculous!

So while bartending, the boat went a rockin' as someone's speedboat zoomed past and I spilled a glass of red wine on that damn shag carpeting. Of course it had to be white shag carpeting. I poured an entire small bottle of club soda on it and mopped it up. Didn't help. I poured a full glass of white wine on it to counter act the red wine. That didn't help. WHERE WAS THE BLEACH? No bleach. So I did what any other nervous 20 something bartender would do to preserve my tip, I moved a large potted plant over the red spot.

The rest of the cocktail party went off pretty much without a hitch and Lana ended up getting pretty sloshed. She was a lot of fun though. I called her Lana because she reminded me of that character by the same name on the 70's sitcom "Three's Company". She was the flirty glamorous party girl-neighbor of Jack, Chrissy, and Janet. The name Lana fit her to a "T"!

At the end of the night, Lana was passing by the bar thanking me and my coworker Monica and exclaimed, "Oh DAMN!" as she looked down at her hand. She called for Big Daddy. He came wandering over and asked what was the matter? She stated her cocktail ring had lost one of it's diamonds again!

We all looked agog at her hand. Her 10 carat solitaire diamond cocktail ring was further surrounded by many one carat diamonds. This ring looked like it weight 5 pounds. One of them had fallen out ... apparently again!

Big Daddy was nonplussed and simply said, "Don't worry my Sweets, let it go and we'll replace it." and shuffled off with his younger glamorous in tow. She turned back to us and said laughingly "It happens all the time!" She blew us a kiss and waved good bye. They retired to their stateroom.

Monica and I looked at each other with our eyes widening. We immediately dove down to our hands and knees knocking our heads in the process. We never found that huge diamond in that damn white shag carpet as hard as we looked!

To this day I search white shag carpets for diamonds.

And yes, I did fess up to the red wine stain. I just didn't want to ruin the party at that time. AND we still got an awesome tip!