Piano Lesson from my Mother

Most of you know that I took classical piano lessons for 10 years. My mom had taken lessons and played when she was growing up and she wanted one of her children to take it up. Sheryl played the flute and Adam played the clarinet. The responsibility of playing the piano was handed down to me. It was something my mother wanted and I really liked it so I gladly obliged. I was no prodigy by any means, but I did well at the piano. It was something that came naturally to me. I never performed before an audience other than close friends and family, and that was good enough for me. I had no desire to play on stage.

When I was in my preteen years, I was taking lessons every week with Mrs. Sellen, the wife of our school's music teacher. I was a typical kid and hated practicing. I practiced just enough that Mrs. Sellen would advance me to other more difficult pieces for the next week..

One specific memory which has haunted me throughout these years involved Mom and the piano. Please indulge me while a share it for the first time.

Mom still played the piano from time to time, mostly when I was not around and at school. I came upon her playing one day, trying to relax. She was playing one of her favorites, "Fur Elise" by Beethoven.

Mom was playing and making mistakes. She was getting visibly frustrated with herself. She finally got through the song and noticed me watching. I said that I can play it and proceeded to take over the piano and play the song from heart.

She grew quiet, watched me play, and gave me a forced smile. Mom got up and left the room abruptly. I continued playing, not even realizing until years later that she had become so upset, albeit quietly. I didn't realize that my actions had hurt her. For some reason, I did not forget that afternoon and it always lingered in the back of my mind.

I was playing the piano the other evening and kept stumbing over a Sonatina by Clementi, a rather simple but lovely piece of music. I was forgetting keys, and my fingers kept tripping up over each other. I grew frustrated and realized that I don't play as well as I used to when I was a kid. Then it hit me, I felt the same frustration that my mother did some 30 years ago but I didn't have a naive child next to me pointing it out. I felt regret and remorse on how I had behaved as a young boy. I didn't realize that I had inadvertantly hurt her.

Wow, Mom, three decades later and even after you have passed, you are still teaching me lessons of life. Now I know why that memory haunted me all those years. Some lessons cannot be learned until years later.

Took a Break

Good day my fellow readers! These past couple weeks have been absolutely horrible for me. I really do not wish to go into detail at this point but just to say that I appreciate the notes of concern I received from several of you wondering what was up.

I had become depressed and the only thing I wanted to do when I got home was sleep. Facebook didn't interest me, writing stopped. All side projects at home stopped. I have really been a sad mess.

You think you have everything under control and then an aspect of your life seems to blow up in your face. Well luckily, I am getting through it and taking steps to better myself ... long term. Life is too short to spend it unhappy. I am making changes to move on from that which stresses me out.

Sorry for the cryptic overtones, I just don't want to jinx anything which may or may not happen. LOL.

I also think alot of it has to do with the period of the year. Mom passed on April 10, 2009 and the following month through Mother's Day is just too damn difficult, every year.

In other better news, my hummingbird couple came back for the 3rd year in a row! So happy about that. I made sure their feeders were filled and within a day, I saw them feasting on sweet sugar nectar. And also, the red-crested pileated woodpecker is back! I have wrote about him before. He is HUGE! The size of a chicken. I have heard him in the woods behind the house and spotted him twice.

It is just amazing that these birds migrate thousands of miles each winter and make their way back to my yard, their home.

The little things of life are sometimes the best.

Music Awakens the Spirit

I have blogged about my love of music before and how it stirs our memories and emotions:

http://www.frazzledatforty.blogspot.com/2011/12/perfect-song-for-mood.html

It was about how music brings you back to that certain time, or memory. For instance, I hear a certain song that my mother listened to and I am instantly taken back to my memories of Mom putting on the album on the record player in the dining room. Smelling the smells of my house from the 70's, the food, my Mother's perfume, my Dad's cigars. Feelings of happiness and contentment accompany my memories. Music does that to you. It awakens your spirit and allows you to relive those past times.

Music has also been seen as a type of therapy. A number of websites and studies foster the belief that it enhances healing and promotes well being. One only has to experience the feel good emotions that a certain song can give you.

A good friend of mine, Dawn, posted this video on Facebook and I had to repost it on my blog and share it with you all. The premise is that elderly man sits in day in and day out in an assisted living facility, just passing the time. He is not a vegetable by any means, but just doesn’t have any spirit. It seems as if he is just waiting to die. The people in this video did a study to see the effects of introducing music and the outcome is extraordinary. Just see if this doesn’t bring a tear to your eye.



After watching this video, I look at music therapy with a new found respect. It has awakened something in this elderly man. He became "alive" again.

Thanks Dawn for turning me on to this. :)

Charlotte Drops Off Dinner

This evening, I stopped by my neighbor Charlotte's house to talk with her a moment. It wasn't important, just a chat between neighbors. I came to her back door and she beckoned me to "Come in, come in, COME IN! You don't have to knock, just come in! COME ON IN!"
"OK OK!" I exclaimed laughing.

She was standing there in her kitchen, all 5'3" 90 pounds of her, making mini lasagnas at the table. Charlotte is my 76 year old divorcee' neighbor. She absolutely loves cooking and is great at it. Charlotte also likes gardening, her wine, and BBC's (Banana liquer, Bailey's, and Coco-lopez). John and I joke that Charlotte must think we do not know how to cook because she is always bringing us food. But we love her for that and certainly don't mind.

After we had chatted, I made my exit. It was a long day and I just wanted to change out of work clothes, make myself a martini, and relax before dinner. I didn't know what I was going to make. Probably a veggie stir-fry as I had picked up some bok-choy and portabellas.

About 30 minutes later, my door bell rang and it was Charlotte carrying one of the mini lasagnas!
"I brought you dinner!" she said smiling.
"Charlotte, you didn't have to!" I replied but so happy I didn't have to cook. Anyway, I was secretly hoping she would!
"You'd better let me come in because this is getting hot!" She was carrying it with a little dish towel.
"Oh sure, sorry! Come on in," I said opening the door. Just then, Max the Cat tried to bolt. I blocked him but also inadvertantly blocked Charlotte from entering.
"Sorry, Max tried to bolt."
"WOW this is really getting hot! I need to put it down now!!!"

I quickly grabbled Max and let her pass. She went up the stairs to the kitchen, saying, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" But suddenly she made a left and made a beeline into the living room!
"Where are you going?! The kitchen was straight ahead!"
"I don't know! THIS IS HOT!" She turned around heading for the kitchen with me carrying Max trailing after her.
"Put it down!" I said.
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE!" she turned to play hot potato and hand it to me!
"Don't give it to ME!!!" I exclaimed backing up with Max still in my arms out of her reach. Max was meowing in fear. "Put it on the counter! The counter Charlotte! THE COUNTER!!!"
"AAAAAAAHHH!!! OWIE!!!!!!"

She went to put the lasagna on a bunch of old photos on our breakfast table.
"Not there Charlotte!!!"
"THIS IS HOT!!!!" she yelled.
"Put it on the stove! THE STOVE!"

Charlotte finally put down the lasagna, wincing. "Ouch, that was hot."
"Are you alright? I'm sorry! Are you burned?" I exclaimed.
"Oh no no, I'm fine. Takes more than that to bother me."
"Okaaaay."
"OK, I gotta go, lemme know how you boys like the lasagna!" Before I knew it, she had already left the house and bolted across the yard towards her kitchen.

Crap, I thought, that is gonna be the LAST lasagna I get for awhile.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

First example:

The week before I got my new car, I was still driving around my trusty red rocket Saturn wagon and stopped for some gas. While filing up, I spied the car on the other side of the the pump. It was a beautiful royal blue Toyota Camry, just like I was about to get, except mine would be gun metal grey. The lady pumping gas just reeked high glass: hair up in a tight bun, designer shades, designer suit, pearls, high heels. She glanced over at me and smiled.

"Hi, how ya doing?" I said back,
"I'm fine," she stated nicely but cooly.
"I'm getting the same car, I'm so excited," I gushed.
"Really? I just love it. It drives so smooth. And I love how it looks," she replied, now warming up to me.
"Yeah, I can't wait to get rid of this old Saturn and finally get a new car. Toyota Camrys are so reliable!"
"Camry?!" she exclaimed, her eyes turning to evil fire and brimstone. "THIS ISN"T A CAMRY! THIS IS AN INFINITI 'G' SERIES SEDAN. THEY DON'T EVEN LOOK ALIKE!"
I paused and stuttered, "Oh ... I'm sorry, it looked like a Camry ..."
"NO IT DOES NOT!" she exclaimed,
"Again, I'm sorry."
With that, she turned her back and refused to even look over at me. Someone's a bit touchy, I thought to myself.

Second example:

I came across an email I had sent to my brother way back in 2004. My sister and I went to a flea market around the historic Fairmont Prison in the Art Museum neighborhood of Philly. We were walking around and stopped at these ladies' table with all sorts of Zen, Buddha, and meditation stuff. I had been going through a particularly stressful and frazzled time (imagine that) and thought it would be great to try and find some peace in my life.

One of the women recommended a book on meditation saying, "This book helped me through a really dark time in my life. It is a step by step guide to rediscovering your light and energy. It will really help you destress, relax, and reach your goals."

My sister, looking at stuff on the table, stated real loud to the woman and myself, "You should do what I do, just try alcohol!"
"Yeah, right!" I agreed laughing. "Two drinks and I am on my way to feeling gooood!"

I laughed out loud and thought nothing of it. The woman just stared at me strangely and coldly. Okaaaay, I thought. I paid her the 25 cents for the book and moved on. It was only after I walked away that I looked down at the book and noticed that it was an Alcoholics Anonymous meditation book. I'm such an ass.

Top 20 Signs You're from Philadelphia

I came across this last night in my files. My sister sent this to me in 1999 and it still rings true today. This is for my Philly friends. I don't know who wrote it but enjoy!

TOP 20 SIGNS YOU'RE FROM PHILADELPHIA

20. You realize that your favorite dessert is wooder ice. It comes in churry, strawburry, and other assawrded flaverz.
19. You find yourself using "Yo" and "Youse guyz" when talking long distance to family members. (I still do this!)
18. You know how to spell Schuylkill.
17. You think $2500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a bargain.
16. You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking, "I wonder if they have cheese steaks?" (Brother Adam, this is for you!)
15. You can sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens. (I stay overnight at my sister Sheryl's and this happens. She sleeps through it while I am up the rest of the night!)
14. You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is.
13. Double parking in front of your house in the 'hood is normal.
12. You can't eat french fries or cheese steaks without Cheese Whiz.
11. You know the street people by name.
10. You don't think Wawa sounds funny.
9. You snub a cheese steak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.
8. Your parents, brother, sisters, aunts, and uncles all live on the same block.
7. You know who Jim O'Brien and Jessica Savitch are and how they died.
6. You can't imagine breakfast without scrapple.
5. You know who Sally Starr, Captain Noah, and Larry Ferrari are.
4. A vacation at the Jersey shore (pronounced "the shoo-ore") is better then going to an island (There's more stuff to do plus you know everybody.)
3. You know where to find the Rocky statue and have done the run up the Art Museum stairs.
2. You know only tourists go to Geno's, Pat's and Jim's for authentic cheese steaks. If you go, it's only when you're drunk and at 3:00 am.
1. You buy a soft pretzel at a traffic light, without wondering where the guy goes to wash his hands. And you really don't care.

My Friend at Nazareth College

I have a Nazareth College baseball cap that John gave me. It used to be his. I wear it from time to time. I also just found out today that the college is outside of Rochester, New York.

I was in Wegmans food shopping this afternoon and some college guy comes up to me and asks all excitedly, "Hey bud, who do you know that goes to Nazareth College?!"

"Jesus," I said flatly in a southern accent.

He just stared at me for a moment, shook his head and walked away deflated.