Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Crazy Stuff While Driving to Work

Driving to work today in my trusty red Saturn, I glanced over at a woman traveling about 70 mph. She was passing me on the major highway I travel every morning. She was driving and putting on mascara in her visor mirror at the same time! She seemed to be doing it well and was very adept at it, just spending enough time to put on one brush stroke and then looking down at the highway in front of her. She would swerve just a little about every half mile. I was mesmerized at how determined she was to get on that mascara! As I spend a lot of time on this highway, you can imagine that I end up seeing some pretty wild stuff.


The only time I ever saw a barn owl was when it swooped down in front of my car, coming to within about 2 feet of hitting my windshield. I screamed like a 5 year old girl. Thankfully I didn’t swerve into the other lane. I once saw a huge 35 plus foot sports cruiser boat on the back of a flatbed truck. It towered over everything but of course was just able to fit under the over passes. I think what struck me as crazy was just this huge mass of the boat going down the highway. I also saw a flatbed tractor trailer hauling a fiberglass swimming pool. The side of the swimming pool was hanging out over the adjacent lane by three feet. I was next to it in the fast lane when it had to move further into my lane to avoid hitting a pulled over tractor trailer on the side of the road. Imagine being crushed on the highway by a swimming pool. I figured at least I would make the evening news with that one.

Every morning like clockwork, I am passed by a truck load of pigs going to the slaughter house. They are in those trailers with the small air holes. You can’t see much but you see enough to know it's filled with pigs. I once saw the eye of one of them. I grew so sad wondering what must be going through that pig’s mind. Poor Wilbur. I blocked it out of my mind … until the next day when I saw another truck load pass me by. Thankfully now I am almost oblivious to it.

Back to the woman with the mascara. Why is it that we do things while driving without a care in the world as to who may be watching us? I have seen people consume full meals while driving, put on makeup, and even shave! I once saw a man behind me at a stop light in my rear view mirror. He looked from side to side, saw that nobody was next to him, and then picked his nose and ate it. He wasn't some punk kid, he looked to be about my age. I guess he forgot someone in front of him could be looking through the rear view mirror.

People, I have observed, seem to feel their cars are a sort of protective sanctuary, an inner sanctum. Sure there are windows that others can see through, but with some people that does not seem to matter. That glass between them and the outside world is enough of a protective wall to do some of the most outrageous things. I have observed people brushing their hair, someone popping a zit while driving, and one guy eating a bowl of cereal with a spoon.  I even passed an attorney I worked with who was driving his Mercedes to work. He was texting and speaking on the phone.  He must have been steering with his knees! I saw him later that day in my office and told him what an idiot he was.

I guess it also comes down to how much someone is rushing to whereever they want to go. They feel they are passing by you at 80 mph and are never gonna see you again anyway, so they pop, pick, or text away. Well, if you happen to see me doing some outrageous behavior, cut me some slack. My commute is one hour each way every day, and my little late model red Saturn is my own sanctuary!

2 comments:

  1. HILARIOUS!!! Laughed through every paragraph BECAUSE, I have witnessed the SAME things AND my Honda is my OWN sanctuary!!! LOL!! Great read Marc.

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  2. You are an inspiration! I need to start writing on my blog again! It only took about ten minutes to remember where it was. Getting old really sucks. You lose your sight, your hearing and your memory in small doses then one day you can't remember when it all started to go!

    Enough about me... I loved your highway stories! It makes me want to tell some of my own highway stories. I need inspiration so I come here and sure enough... I am inspired! Love love love your stories!

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