Me, Sher, and Ad

Me, Sher, and Ad
Bro Adam and sis Sher, my rocks!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Holidays When You've Lost Someone

When you have lost someone in your life, a spouse, child, parent, sibling, or close friend, the holidays become extremely difficult and sad. Judy Garland's version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" from the musical "Meet Me in St. Louis" comes to mind. Judy sings, "From now on we'll have to muddle through somehow."  I find the lyric so sad and poignant. Later versions changed that lyric to the more positive ""Hang a shining star upon the highest bough!"  You can thank Frank Sinatra for the more jolly line.

I actually like the sad lyric. It reminds me that there are others out there like me, that struggle to get through the holidays after losing a loved one. You try and put up a brave face but sometimes the sadness makes it difficult. Anyway, that's how I read it. I do have fun holidays though, but these days they are bittersweet.  My Mom was the focal point of our family. She gathered us kids at her house each year, whether Christmas Eve or day, made dinner, and was our Northern Star that we looked to for guidance, familial warmth and love.

If you know someone who has lost someone important in their lives, recognize that at some point, they will be sad during the holidays. I express my sadness in private, or to my sister or brother, or  OK OK, on my blog. Alright, I am pretty open about my sadness. There I said it. :o) For me, it has become cathartic to write about it. If I haven't said it, thank you for allowing me the ability to write about my feelings.

Realize that your loved ones who lost someone will most likely will come out of it and join back in the festivities. Give them a hug and let them know that you understand why they are sad. It will (and from experience I know) be greatly appreciated. If you yourself have lost someone, reach out to a close friend or family member who has too. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with commisery. A good cry and hug does wonders!


  1. The feeling of loss of a loved one is magnified during special times, such as the holidays...thank you for sharing your feelings..good to know one is not alone.

  2. Thanks Dave, I appreciate the comment! -Marc, Frazzled at Forty