Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Friday, April 13, 2012

What's In a Name?

I was at a coffee shop the other day ordering a cup of coffee. The young 20 something girl at the register asked me my name so she could write it on the slip. I am always half tempted to say something groaningly funny such as “Bud Weiser” but I restrained myself and simply said, “Marc."

I waited patiently for my cup of coffee and spied my ticket on the counter. Buffy, the register girl, had written “Lark.” Yes, “Lark” as in the bird. I was a little shocked and annoyed. How can you get Lark from Marc??? Didn’t she hear me? I think that I speak clearly.

I often have people spell my name with a K when it is spelled with a C. My last name seems to confound people too. It is spelled Haynes. I often get Haines, Hayne, Hanes, Hayes. The list goes on.

Maybe Buffy didn’t hear me. I looked over at her. She was happily going about her day answering questions and taking orders. Maybe she was a lip reader? She didn’t seem like she had a hearing problem.

I would hope that she wasn't making fun of me because she knew I would see the receipt. You hear news stories about service industry people insulting others by assigning them derogatory names on the receipts. How is “Lark” derogatory though? Hello Paranoia!

Finally my coffee came up and the stoner dude working the coffee machine grabbed the receipt and began to yell my name - or I mean the wrong name!

“LAR…”
“It’s MARC!” I screamed over him, not allowing him to finish.
“It says Lark,” he responded flatly.
“Well, it’s WRONG! It’s Marc. M. A. R. C.”

He stared at me blankly. “Whatever dude.”

I looked over at the girl behind the register now looking at me as well. “It’s Marc,” I hissed.

Everyone was now looking at me like I was crazy. “It’s Marc!” I yelled to no one in particular. That heat of embarrassment started to come over me and I fled the coffee shop to the safely of my beat-up Saturn.

Thinking in the car, I realized that I do normally sound nasal from allergies, so maybe she thought I said something else. When I have a bad head cold and have been asked my name, people have thought I said “Bart” or even “Bark.”

I think from now on I am just going to wear a name tag like the one you see at conventions. “Hello, my name is Marc.” At least then they would spell it with a C and not a K.

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