Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Nightmares!

Ever have a reoccurring dream? I have had a couple of reoccurring nightmares since childhood. I have often wondered why these horrible dreams are lodged in my psyche. What part of my childhood initially triggered these torments of the night? The first involves zombies. John always wonders where my fascination with them comes from. I figure it must come from this reoccuring nightmare. I love the AMC TV series “The Walking Dead.” Can’t get enough of it! I love the gore, the fear of the people running from them, and hopelessness of a dying human race being overrun with zombies. Now everyone scream! When I was younger, I started dreaming of being chased by these undead monsters. I am in a dark wet basement, running from room to room. The air is damp, the concrete floor cold. I run into a dimly lit room and quickly close a door behind me, locking it. I am shaking with fear. They are outside of the door, beating on it endlessly, groaning at me in their zombie voices. I back up into the farthest corner of the room. Just as they break down the door and I scream my heart out but no sound comes out! I wake up in a cold sweat. Same dream, every time. I have had this dream so many times over then span of 30 years I can’t even count how many! The other dream I have over and over involves the sea, specifically the Jersey shore. Now before you all go … “Well of course it’s is a nightmare because it's the Jersey shore!” I say yeah whatever, heard it before. I love the Jersey shore, grew up summering down there and will always love it. No Jersey shore bashing allowed in my blog! :-) However, in my dream I am at the shore, wading in the water, close to land. Suddenly, I am drawn by some unforceable force further and further out. Something is dragging me down into the dark murky waters. I can’t swim, I feel like I am in quicksand. I can’t move my limbs. I am sucked down, choking on salt water. I can’t breathe and I black out. Once I wake, I am in my bed, sweating as they say … like a whore in church. To this day, I don’t swim out too far into the ocean. I have such a fear of being dragged out by rip tides. I know my fear stems from this dream, warranted or not. My question has always been what events in my childhood ingrained these dreams into my psyche? There is nothing I can remember. Maybe a bout of hypnosis would do be some good …. or open up events that create more questions. My friend Sarah pointed out that sometimes repressed memories can bring up some pretty scary things. I think she is right. Sometimes it is better to let sleeping dogs lie. So for now, I have these two dreams every once in a while. I haven’t had them in ages though. Maybe it's been a year since the last time. They also occur when I am stressed out. It’s surprising I haven’t dreamt them these past couple months since it has been a particularly difficult time in my life. When I do have them now, I have noticed that I have been able to recognize, “Oh … OK … this is that dream again. I remember this.” With that, I now wake up before it gets too scary. The zombies can stay on TV!

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