Sunday, January 27, 2013
No Resolutions for 2013
No resolutions. Just introspection. I do this on the Jewish New Year as well. You try and figure out where you've come from, how you got there, what the heck you are doing in life, and where you will be going. I don't believe in writing that resolution list anymore.
I came across a list of resolutions from 10 years ago and could have wrote the same list today. Same projects I want to work on but haven't gotten around to. Same things I want to change about myself and am continuously striving for. So for me, it's a waste of paper. Therefore, I do the introspection.
The year 2012 was a mixed bag for me. I enjoyed being bar manager for the Lodge immensely. I even looked at restaurant/bar managing as an alternative career but rediscovered that as management (even as a volunteer), it comes down on you to cover stuff when the chips are down. I found myself spending more and more time obsessing over the most minutiae of details of the bar. Giving it up was a relief but also difficult. You work so hard on a "project" in your life that once it is over or it is given up, you go through withdrawal. I am feeling that now but eagerly looking forward to reclaimed time in my schedule to focus on blogging.
I also reasserted myself and rediscovered some self-confidence over several situations at the end of the year. I found that my choices may not make people like me but at least I can say I stand by decisions I have made and sleep well at night. And besides, how boring would your world be if everyone got along? Nothing like a couple shakeups to put things in perspective. I know I am writing about this vaguely. What is important at this point is not so much what happened, but what I learned from the experiences.
I am have learned over these last couple years that successful writing is more about satisfying myself with the essays I write. It is not about impressing people or wishing, hoping, and praying that people REALLY LIKE ME. It is about how I FEEL about my writing. This may seem obvious but for me, a work in progress, it was not so obvious. I don't apologize for the length of my journey in this life. Wisdom gained does not come over night. And if you feel it does, you are fooling yourself. I thought I would know more by age 42 but I seem to question more instead! There is nothing wrong with that either. I am developing the wisdom to realize I sometimes don't know Jack (not you Jack Ross)! LOL. I also am developing the wisdom to take time before I speak, to think things out, and not act as irrational as that 20-something Philly party kid used to.
My blogging was definitely a personal accomplishment for myself. I have come close to 20,000 separate views on my blog since its inception 2 ½ years ago. And to those certain friends messing with me, I think I am only responsible for 5000 of those views (wink wink). I still enjoy writing and this year, will be able to spend to more time on it to see where I can take it. This includes sending out essays and articles to newspapers, magazines, and online websites for publication. Wish me luck. I am still excited to see where this takes me.