Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A Raccoon, a Buck, and the Meaning of Life

As I have mentioned before, I have an hour commute in which to ponder life's questions and mysteries.  I left my house this morning at 7:30 as usual. It was raining, dreary, and gray. As soon as I pulled away from the house, I spied a lowly raccoon scampering across my yard into the woods. I smiled to myself and continued out of the Lake. Then I thought, "Gee, I hope he is not rabid."
 
Long commutes make you think about a whole range of stuff:  the good, bad, and in-between. I was thinking back to last week, and then the week before that, and the week before that. It all seems to go by so quickly. I worry that I don't do enough in life and will have regrets down the road.
 
I make plans with friends so there is something to look forward to but the time in between seems sometimes so repetitive. Sure I work out (haha, try to), bartend on the side, write the blog, try and keep a house up, but going to work each day to the same job which obviously isn't my "dream job" makes me wonder, "Is that all there is?"  I am busy but I feel like I am busy without a greater purpose.
 
People say having kids fills the void and others do volunteer work. Kids aren't in my future and I am fine with that. It is a personal choice for me. My niece and nephew give me great satisfaction.  Full time volunteer work is nice for high society people who don't need to work but for the majority of us, ya need to pay those bills. You then volunteer when you aren't too exhausted.
 
I once read that if you do something you love and do it really well, career, success, and satisfaction will naturally follow.  Well that is a load of crap.  It doesn't happen that easy all wrapped up in a box with a bow. If it does, you are either extremely lucky or forgot that it actually took 30 years for that to happen which you then condensed down to 5 due to a senior moment.
 
I worry that I am not living life to its fullest. Am I doing everything to have a meaningful, satisfyingly productive life? Should I take drastic changes to get to where I think I should be?  Am I making a difference in this world? Totally deep questions which I don't profess to know the answers to. I figure and hope that there are others asking themselves the same thing.  Sometimes it helps my worrisome nature to know that others are in the same boat as I.
 
After my long commute of ponderisms, I turned on the radio to listen to just anything light. I was still on driving on Route 78 through a wooded area between Lenhartsville and Kutztown and there by the side of the road stood a majestic buck. He had 10 points on his rack that I was able to count. Just beautiful. Sometimes the beauty of nature just helps put my worrisome existence into perspective.

2 comments:

  1. Love the Kutztown shout out! Woot woot! Anywho, I seriously love what I do and my boss, and it only took me 25 years :-) The best is yet to come for you, Marc!

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  2. Thanks Lisa! Appreciate the comment. I think you are right, the best is yet to come. :) HUGS!

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