Me, Sher, and Ad

Me, Sher, and Ad
Bro Adam and sis Sher, my rocks!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

My Bad Tattoo Ideas

For some reason, I have had a case of writer's block the last couple weeks. I have started 4 separate blog articles but haven't seemed to take them to completion. They will remain as drafts for now, until I get the urge to finish them up. In the meantime, I passed one of my clients in the hallway at work and something green caught my eye. He was a big burly dude and had these two tattoos on his calves:

The first, New Jersey, is not that bad. I hail from South Jersey and love the Garden State. I am very proud to be from Jersey although I would never have thought to get a tattoo of my state across my calf. The second tattoo is a little more disturbing. It is the logo from Monster Energy drinks. Are ya kidding me? You would really mark yourself permanently (let me repeat PERMANENTLY) with a corporate logo?!  There was no mistaking it is the Monster Energy logo and get this, even crazier … it is upside down so that when he looks behind at his calf, it would appear right side up!  I am surprised he didn't flip poor New Jersey on it's head as well.
This took me back to my 20's when getting tattoos was the rage amongst friends. But if you weren't getting tattoos, you were getting piercings. I had each ear pierced multiple times and at one time, each nipple pierced. Damn those hurt. I liked how it looked though. These days, the nipple rings and earrings are gone, having been stashed in some jewelry box for memory's sake to remind myself of those crazy days.
My tattoo fiasco is well documented. Check out my blog post: for that embarrassing story.  I had a couple of other bad tattoo ideas which I THANKFULLY I never followed through on. Among them:

The Bacardi Bat:
I loved this logo and used to drink Cuba Libres (Bacardi and coke) throughout my twenties. Thank G-D I didn't get this tattoo. I would be like the guy above with the Monster Energy logo tattoo! And why a bat? What would it symbolize of me? That I could possibly actively carry the rabies virus?? Just kidding Bacardi, I still like my Bacardi Cuba Libres.

The Ravenswood Vineyard Ravens:

OK, this one was a little better. I grew to love this wine while working at the Ritz-Carlton Philly as the beverage purchaser. This logo reminded me so much of Haida Indian artwork from the Pacific Northwest. I looked up the symbolism of ravens but didn't really think it fit me. Online websites say that ravens can mean dark magic or trickery, but also seen as a teachers or protectors.  I passed on the raven as my "symbol" but still actively drink and enjoy the wine.  I think I liked it more because the logo had an endless connection from raven to raven.

The Buddha Infinite Loop: 

For awhile in college, I completely freaked out my Mother and follow Buddhism. I really didn't convert but instead, sought spiritual enlightment and meaning to my life in between fraternity parties and avoiding classes. Mom sighed relief when I convinced her I would not renounce Judaism and become a Buddhist. She wasn't too thrilled though when I started calling myself a Jew-Boo. Aaaaa, only in college can you freely mesh religions and ideas without any worries in the world ... except the worries of a protective Jewish mother. 

The Mobius Strip:

This tattoo was along the same lines of the infinite loop and the Ravenswood Ravens. I kind of connected to the idea that everything and everyone was ...  connected. Yeah, I was thinking  really DEEP in college. I later nixed this idea after I saw some hippy chick that I couldn't stand get this tattoo before I could. It ruined it for me. I guess I wasn't connected to everyone as much as I thought I was.

Barbed Wire:

I liked the barbed wire idea  around my arm but figured Mom would object to this one as well considering the barbed wire motif. If you can't figure out why, remember I am Jewish and my people were in concentration camps surrounded by ... barbed wire. Hello?

Greek Key Design:

This was pretty cool. But I heard tattoos really hurt when they went around the underside of your arm or your wrist. Fear of pain nixed this idea. Although I still like the design, just not where it would cause me undo pain. Hence, me having only one very small Buffalo nickel-sized tattoo.

Albert Einstein:

I was SOOO into the theory of relativity that I wanted to get this as an homage to the greatest physicist ever! 

Oh who are we kidding, I am more of an Abe Vigoda (FISH) type guy:

Now if YOU have any of the above tattoos … (snicker snicker) … they aren't THAT bad. I have seen much worse. And I actually wish I had more tattoos then my Chinese symbol tattoo which is supposed to mean something great but means something else (see blog post link above for further embarrassment to the blogger).


  1. Hahaha, oh my goodness, I laughed so much at this! I am forever referring to you as the Jew-Boo! I have logo tattoos...two Denver Broncos. From my early 20's. And while I don't regret them, let's just keep the meaning along the lines of hailing from Jersey, but in this case, Colorado...

  2. Thx Diane! I will give you a pass because you're family! :-)

  3. Haha - Great post. Sorry I missed it back in 2013. I thought I was strange for wanting a Maude tattoo on my chest.

    Being a 70's kid myself, I enjoyed countless hours of Welcome Back, Kotter, Happy Days, All in the Family, What's Happening, Sanford & Son and Three's Company.

    I think we should get matching tattoos of Dwayne's an undisclosed location. Nah, I'll stick with Maude.

    1. Haha! This was a great reply. Never knew about the Maude tattoo idea. LOL. We truly are cut from the same cloth. :)