Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Car Shenanigans of my Youth

I was driving to work the other day down Route 78 and some huge ass tractor trailer started every so slowly nudging into my lane. I leaned on the horn while screaming bloody murder above my 80's mix CD, "WHAT THE HELL!" Yes, I drowned out the Bangles while flipping off the truck next to me, spewing my Dunkin' Donuts coffee all over the Camry dashboard. OMG I am so now middle-aged!

Luckily, the rest of the commute into work was uneventful. But it allowed me to remember past near misses and some minor accidents that I had during my high school years. (UM ... Dad, this is the part where you may want to stop reading. AND I LOVE YOU!)

Like the time I was driving with one of my high school best friends, Angie, and I came around a turn in a corn field. I was driving our fire engine red Nissan Sentra and took the turn too fast, going over a small turn marker into the field. She screamed, I screamed. We survived the plunge into the corn field. Luckily no damage to the car, although I was picking corn shocks out of the front grill when I got home.

Reminds me of Mark's bro's Camaro
Another time, I was riding in the back seat of my friend Mark's (brother's I think) early 80's Camaro. Mark, Greg, and I were coming back from cruising the Deptford Mall when Mark took the ramp off of Route 55 going at least 70 mph. I remember the car going airborne for a second or two and all of us collectively sh*tting our pants. And there we were screaming like 5 year old school girls.

Ahhh youth. Ain't it grand.

One weekend I hijacked ... um I mean borrowed (and eventually got grounded by doing so) my Mom's Honda Accord and took it for a joy ride down to Ocean City, NJ, with my friend Mike while the folks were away. We stayed at my Uncle John's and got our 18 year old asses tossed from at least 3 bars. Coming home, we got behind a bus load of cheerleaders. Mike thought it would be a great idea to pass bottles of beer from the Honda to the bus, so we drove in the oncoming lane along side of the bus as Mike proceeded to hang out the window passing the beer to the girls. It was one of Mike's typically crazy insane ideas, but I was game!  :)

Just like Mom's Honda Accord!
I was driving with one hand and hanging onto Mike's shorts with the other so he didn't fall out of the car. The idea didn't fully come to fruition due to an ongoing Lincoln Town Car which caused us to quickly veer off the road into a LUCKILY empty motel parking lot.  I was, once again, sh*tting my pants, sweating bullets, and what was Mike doing? He was screaming to me, "THAT WAS F*CKING AWESOME, HAYNES, F*CKING AWSOME! MY LIFE JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES!" Bottles of Busch beer were strewn across the road to the Jersey shore.

I miss the Pontiac Phoenix. :(
One more time, I was driving our blue Pontiac Phoenix with my friend Don McManamy around Woodbury Heights, NJ, when, once again, I took a turn waaay too fast. The car skidded on sand and jumped a foot high curb, breaking both axles, and blowing out the curb side tires. The car came within 2 feet of hitting a grove of trees. To this day I am so happy Don is alright! We nervously laughed about it at my 25th reunion this past Fall. Anyway, I ran to the nearest house to call my Dad and it turned out to be my classmate Eric's house. He just laughed at me and the next day told everyone at school how I totaled the car by his house. In the meantime, I thought about the ways my Dad would kill me.

I was totally dishonest about it and Dad knew it. He ripped me a new one. I eventually confessed, he forgave me and we moved on. Alot was going on at that time with my folks separating and I think he figured I was acting out, which I probably was trying to show off. To this day though, I hate myself for how I handled it. He has always maintained it's OK, it happened, learn from it and move on. I love that guy.

One summer evening I was driving over the Ben Franklin Bridge for a night of dancing at Flannigan's on South Street Philly with besties Marguerite, Angie (AGAIN!), and Mandy. We were driving over the bridge singing Madonna's "Holiday" at the top of our lungs when we realized Mandy was driving in one of red light lanes with TRAFFIC COMING TOWARDS US! We all screamed and Mandy swerved into a green lane at the last moment. We have never let her forget that one. Every time I hear that song I think of that night driving across the Ben Franklin Bridge!

Another night coming back from the Philly clubs with these three gals, I was driving the Sentra east on Rt 676 into South Jersey. There was a low concrete median at that time separating 4 lanes of traffic moving in the same direction. I absentmindedly decided to cross over three lanes, thereby going straight over the concrete median. Well, the girls screamed and sparks flew from the undercarriage of the car for a good 50 feet but the trusty Sentra kept going!

Late 80's Nissan Sentra
After a slow down and a head count, we continued on our way back to Wenonah. I dropped off Mandy, then Marguerite, and finally Angela, 12 miles south in Mullica Hill. The next morning, Dad woke me up and asked me to come outside. I followed him thinking "Oh sh*t."  He asked me, "Do you know the back left tire on the Sentra is all shredded?" I told him I must have driven over something on the highway, what could it have been?  He looked at me suspiciously and I ended up paying for a new tire out of my AMC Theater paycheck (I worked there with Angie!). I just couldn't believe the tire didn't give out until I arrived home in the driveway. Dad was just thankful it didn't blow on Route 55.

Remember this car Adam? :) 
Well those are my stories. Now my sister and brother are not innocents in this blog! But being the good dutiful little brother that I am, I won't go into full detail BUT, if you ever see my brother Adam, ask him about what happened to our Chevy Chevette his freshman year at the Crossings Apartments at Glassboro State College OR ask my sister about ... well, let's keep that one quiet. Sheryl has a lot of dirt on me. :)



BLOGGER's NOTE:
I do not own these photos, they were each borrowed as purely examples of these vehicles.


7 comments:

  1. Note to self, Don't let Marc drive anywhere!!!!!

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  2. Sounds as if you are easily distracted when driving...then and now. You need to find Hoke to drive you, Miss Daisy.

    J.R.

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  3. Hmmmm when we go out I am doing the driving. Although the corn field one happened to me also (dont tell my parents)

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  4. Thanks for the comments Friends ... I think. :)

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  5. Enjoyed reading your blog as usual. I have had a couple of close calls myself - like crashing into a deer, and sliding into a ditch. I am getting much older so now it is me who needs a Hoke and I can be Ms. Morag.

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  6. Thank you so much Morag! :) I am in good company you.

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