Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Monday, March 28, 2016

10 Second Memory: Bracketology FAIL

source
I like watching NCAA college basketball. I don't watch the NBA. Totally dislike it. When I watch COLLEGE hoops, I always root of course for my alma mater, Rutgers University. Yes I know, Rutgers isn't in the NCAA Tournament this year. In fact, they haven't made an appearance in the Tournament is a long long .... long long ... very long time. But I still love my Rutgers!

I don't usually do the brackets though. I know it's based on stats, teams standings, player ability, etc. Just don't have the time to figure it all out. I do appreciate the passion others have for it. I got passion, just not for brackets.

I did attempt to do brackets twice before. I was convinced by my buddy to have some fun and try it. We used to hang out at a bar called the Central Tap in Fleetwood, PA. We did the brackets about 8 years ago. I had no idea what the heck I was doing. So I was buzzed and figured I'd pick them based on my favorite mascots. Now I didn't tell anyone this, I didn't show anyone. But I figured, what the heck, I'm buzzed, this sounds about as good as any other strategy.

Well, I came in 4th ... from the bottom ... out of 386. Yeah, I was a bit mortified. AND they published the list at the bar so everyone knew I was 4th from the bottom. Needless to say, it was embarrassing. I just said I had a bit of bad luck with picking.

The next year, I picked it based on my favorite teams colors. Yeah, shut up, I know, pretty crazy stupid ridiculous, huh? LOL I figured I couldn't get much worse now could I? Well that year, I came in the top 20 out of a good couple hundred! I didn't win any money, but I did win bragging rights. People asked me how I did it and I kept silent and and just said I had my own secret system.

I don't do brackets anymore and now just enjoy the game. I still root for RU but in the Tourney, I'll root for a Philly college team that makes it that far!

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Old Time Insults

Love the film noir look!
One of the biggest issues in this recent election is that America is mad! They are tired of government, tired of being politically correct. You've heard it on CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc. ARGH! Everyone is so mad mad MAD! Forget calling someone an ass, forget calling someone a #$&%*, forget using the forbidden words. Oh my God, I can't even type the forbidden words as an example for fear of the
Internet backlash! I know what I'll do! When I want to use a curse or a forbidden word, I will substitute the word "bunny." Nah, that won't work. All the Easter bunny followers will have my head. Even though guess what... the Easter bunny is NOT REAL. And neither is Santa, nor the tooth fairy, nor the Hanukkah man! OK OK, I digress...

Well I have the perfect solution for America. Our insults are so boring and predictable these days. We hear them on TV and the Internet all the time. "Lying Ted, Little Marco" (Shut up Donald!) People need to try something different. I think we should go back to old "timey" insults, the ones from the 50s and even earlier. You know, the ones the chanteuse Peggy Lee sung about in the song "He's a Tramp" from the 1955 Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp? In the song, she sings of her love who is a tramp, a scoundrel, a rounder, a cad, etc. I LOVE those insults. When I lob one towards my unsuspecting punk friend, it makes me feel like I am standing on a street corner, in an overcoat, suit and hat, leaning up against a lamp post, smoking a Lucky Strike. I call him a rogue and then flick my cigarette at him all menacingly....  He looks at me and says "Huh?" LOL

So onto the list. It's a pretty comprehensive one. I did about a couple week's research on it. For simplicity's sake, I am lumping insults together if they mean the same thing. There is no particular order. I think you'll laugh reading some of these. So when you are going to "clapperclaw" someone, instead of calling him a sh#thead, try "good-for-nothing lowlife rat fink bastard" and see what reaction you get. It actually might defuse the shenanigans. If you try it on me, remember, this ain't my first rodeo. I'll know what you are saying.

Clapperclaw (verb): to revile, verbally abuse, or scold

Huckster, hustler, snake oil salesman: a seller of a product of questionable worth or value

Shyster: a person, especially a lawyer, who uses unscrupulous, fraudulent or deceptive methods in business

Rapscallion, rascal: a mischievous or cheeky person

Rounder: a habitual criminal or disreputable person

Bounder, hound, heel, reprobate, varlet: a dishonorable man

Weasel, snake, snake-in-the-grass: a deceitful or treacherous person

Scoundrel, black guard, knave, rogue, varlet, rat fink: a dishonest or unscrupulous man

Cad: a man who behaves dishonestly, especially towards women

Villain, rogue, thug, miscreant, wiseguy: criminal

Nogoodnik: petty criminal
Rabble rouser: a person who speaks with the intention of inflaming emotions of a crowd of people, typically for political reasons

Ruffian: a violent person, especially one involved in crime

Whoreson, bastard: an unpleasant or greatly disliked person

Tramp (male): a vagrant, a beggar, a hobo, a homeless person

Rover: someone who wanders, roves, akin to hobo or tramp http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rover

Tramp (female), hussy, trollop, tart, harlot, wanton, strumpet: a slut, a moral or impudent girl

Lot lizard, gutter hoe, street walker, doxy, strumpet, trull, hustler: a prostitute https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution#Street

Cocotte: a fashionable prostitute www.encyclopedia.com

Nincompoop, dope, ignoramus: a foolish or stupid person

Scallywag, scalawag, scamp, rascal, imp, varlot (Shakespeare): a person, especially a child, who is mischievous and causes trouble

Whippersnapper, pipsqueak, upstart, stripling, squirt: a young and inexperienced person considered to be presumptuous or overconfident.

Holy terror, little terror: a person, especially a child, that causes trouble or annoyance
Bugs looking rather dashing!

When in doubt, you can always call someone one of the following colorful names: dirtball, dirtbag,  scumball, scumbag, scumbucket, scuzzball, sleazeball, sleazebag, slimeball, or just plain "jerk!


Lastly, here is one of my all time favorite insults from the great cartoon god, Bugs Bunny:

Maroon: specifically a term of derision often uttered by Bugs Bunny when referring to an interaction with a dopey adversary. It is a mispronunciation of the word "Moron"  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.phpterm=maroon&page=2


***Blogger's note: Unless otherwise noted, all definitions where found at the Oxford Dictionary online website when researching for this blog! http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/
Both images are from Pinterest.com.

In addition, if you find any of these words insulting, my deepest apologies. Just substitute the word "bunny" ... with no disrespect to Bugs Bunny of course. He's the bomb.



Saturday, March 19, 2016

Sometimes You Don't Owe an Explanation


A couple months ago, an acquaintance I'll call Karen invited me to a gathering at her home. We were never that close but were friendly enough. We just never truly clicked though. It's neither a negative nor a positive thing. It's just a part of life.

Now I appreciated being invited by Karen but I hadn't even seen her in the past year and then it was only for a couple minutes the previous Spring. I really didn't want to go to her party but felt almost obligated because a number of other mutual acquaintances were going. How could I politely decline the invite and what would my reason be? My close friend Jackie was attending but raised a good point:  unless you are family or good friends, you don't really owe them an explanation.

You definitely owe them a reply, an RSVP, a response. But other than "Thanks, I'm very sorry but I can't make it", you owe them nothing more. If it were my sister, or my friend Jackie, I'd owe an explanation out of familial or friendship courtesy. "I'm sick. The plumber is coming over. The cat threw up." But if this person is just an acquaintance, you are obligated to RSVP; nothing more, nothing less. You are not obligated to divulge the details of your life. If they don't like it, they will get over it. Trust me.  And if they do not, that is their issue.

I passed this info onto my friend Mindy who was traveling to a craft convention and asked by an acquaintance if she could carpool the 7 hour drive with her. Mindy is a lot like me and likes her "alone time." She also has a full time job and is raising kids so any time she can get for some alone time she grabs it.

Mindy's acquaintance has her own reliable vehicle. She doesn't even know her that well. Mindy has nothing against her but she was really looking forward to the drive alone, being able to stop along the way, shop as she wants too, etc.

Mindy asked me for my advice on the situation and I told her what Jackie told me. "She is not family nor is she a good friend, so therefore just politely decline. You do not know her an explanation." Now granted, it may make things a bit awkward at the convention if the two ladies run into each other but I'd rather have the temporary awkwardness than have to sacrifice my time for something I truly don't want to do.

Our lives are extremely busy. If I have some free time, I just like putzing around my house, hitting the gym, getting chores done, or perhaps just reading a good book. Even though I am an extremely social person, I don't want or need to go to every party. So if you are an acquaintance, you'll definitely get an RSVP if I choose not to attend, but just don't expect me to give you a specific reason. It isn't needed nor in my eyes, is it necessary.

Oh and by the way, once again I am putting this disclaimer out there that if you think this blog post is about you, you can be 99.99% rest assured that it is not. If you continue to think it is about you, I can recommend my therapist. His name is Max the Cat.
Max, my therapist






Blogger's note:  Except for Max the Cat, the names have been changed