Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Old Time Insults

Love the film noir look!
One of the biggest issues in this recent election is that America is mad! They are tired of government, tired of being politically correct. You've heard it on CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc. ARGH! Everyone is so mad mad MAD! Forget calling someone an ass, forget calling someone a #$&%*, forget using the forbidden words. Oh my God, I can't even type the forbidden words as an example for fear of the
Internet backlash! I know what I'll do! When I want to use a curse or a forbidden word, I will substitute the word "bunny." Nah, that won't work. All the Easter bunny followers will have my head. Even though guess what... the Easter bunny is NOT REAL. And neither is Santa, nor the tooth fairy, nor the Hanukkah man! OK OK, I digress...

Well I have the perfect solution for America. Our insults are so boring and predictable these days. We hear them on TV and the Internet all the time. "Lying Ted, Little Marco" (Shut up Donald!) People need to try something different. I think we should go back to old "timey" insults, the ones from the 50s and even earlier. You know, the ones the chanteuse Peggy Lee sung about in the song "He's a Tramp" from the 1955 Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp? In the song, she sings of her love who is a tramp, a scoundrel, a rounder, a cad, etc. I LOVE those insults. When I lob one towards my unsuspecting punk friend, it makes me feel like I am standing on a street corner, in an overcoat, suit and hat, leaning up against a lamp post, smoking a Lucky Strike. I call him a rogue and then flick my cigarette at him all menacingly....  He looks at me and says "Huh?" LOL

So onto the list. It's a pretty comprehensive one. I did about a couple week's research on it. For simplicity's sake, I am lumping insults together if they mean the same thing. There is no particular order. I think you'll laugh reading some of these. So when you are going to "clapperclaw" someone, instead of calling him a sh#thead, try "good-for-nothing lowlife rat fink bastard" and see what reaction you get. It actually might defuse the shenanigans. If you try it on me, remember, this ain't my first rodeo. I'll know what you are saying.

Clapperclaw (verb): to revile, verbally abuse, or scold

Huckster, hustler, snake oil salesman: a seller of a product of questionable worth or value

Shyster: a person, especially a lawyer, who uses unscrupulous, fraudulent or deceptive methods in business

Rapscallion, rascal: a mischievous or cheeky person

Rounder: a habitual criminal or disreputable person

Bounder, hound, heel, reprobate, varlet: a dishonorable man

Weasel, snake, snake-in-the-grass: a deceitful or treacherous person

Scoundrel, black guard, knave, rogue, varlet, rat fink: a dishonest or unscrupulous man

Cad: a man who behaves dishonestly, especially towards women

Villain, rogue, thug, miscreant, wiseguy: criminal

Nogoodnik: petty criminal
Rabble rouser: a person who speaks with the intention of inflaming emotions of a crowd of people, typically for political reasons

Ruffian: a violent person, especially one involved in crime

Whoreson, bastard: an unpleasant or greatly disliked person

Tramp (male): a vagrant, a beggar, a hobo, a homeless person

Rover: someone who wanders, roves, akin to hobo or tramp http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rover

Tramp (female), hussy, trollop, tart, harlot, wanton, strumpet: a slut, a moral or impudent girl

Lot lizard, gutter hoe, street walker, doxy, strumpet, trull, hustler: a prostitute https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution#Street

Cocotte: a fashionable prostitute www.encyclopedia.com

Nincompoop, dope, ignoramus: a foolish or stupid person

Scallywag, scalawag, scamp, rascal, imp, varlot (Shakespeare): a person, especially a child, who is mischievous and causes trouble

Whippersnapper, pipsqueak, upstart, stripling, squirt: a young and inexperienced person considered to be presumptuous or overconfident.

Holy terror, little terror: a person, especially a child, that causes trouble or annoyance
Bugs looking rather dashing!

When in doubt, you can always call someone one of the following colorful names: dirtball, dirtbag,  scumball, scumbag, scumbucket, scuzzball, sleazeball, sleazebag, slimeball, or just plain "jerk!


Lastly, here is one of my all time favorite insults from the great cartoon god, Bugs Bunny:

Maroon: specifically a term of derision often uttered by Bugs Bunny when referring to an interaction with a dopey adversary. It is a mispronunciation of the word "Moron"  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.phpterm=maroon&page=2


***Blogger's note: Unless otherwise noted, all definitions where found at the Oxford Dictionary online website when researching for this blog! http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/
Both images are from Pinterest.com.

In addition, if you find any of these words insulting, my deepest apologies. Just substitute the word "bunny" ... with no disrespect to Bugs Bunny of course. He's the bomb.



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