Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Awkward Questions? Try a Moment of Silence!




The other day while driving to work, I was listening to a great interview on NPR and thought that parts of it were meaningful enough to pass on. A woman comedian was being interviewed and was talking about how to get through various awkward situations and I felt that others could completely relate to it.


One of those was situations was when someone asks a single person "Why are you still single?"  Maybe people do not realize it but this is a pretty rude question. It's no one's business. It seems though that during family or holiday events, a glass of sangria, spiked holiday punch or eggnog will chuck all decorum out the window.  Do you stop to think how small that makes a person feel as if being single is bad and wrong? Don't you think they'd like to meet someone???


So for my single friends, when someone asks you that, there are some retorts you can toss their way.


Question:   Why are you still single?


Answers:   Why are you still married? How's your marriage working out for you? Is it everything you'd hope it would be? How many times have you been divorced? How'd that go for ya? Remind them dryly of the statistic that 40-50% of marriages still end in divorce.(www.apa.org/topics/divorces/)


And my favorite answer:  Since you are married, are you still having sex?  (I can guarantee this answer will bring stunned silence.) Make the conversation as awkward for them as it is for you.


Another awkward question which riles me up is "Why don't you have children yet?" "Don't you want children?"  THIS DRIVES ME BONKERS! It's none of your business!!!


Now you could be an adult and take the high road. My friend Lara's advice:  just roll your eyes and walk away.  Honestly though, I'm tired of dealing with ignorant questions. People sometimes need to be schooled.


I AM TIRED OF HAVING TO ACCEPT SOMEONE'S IGNORANCE WHEN IT COMES TO PRYING ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. Start speaking up! Start countering them on their ignorant questions!


One more suggestion from the NPR broadcast which I found useful was giving a full minutes' silence.


If someone asks you a stupid or awkward questions, or makes a racist, sexist comment, just stare at them for ONE FULL MINUTE and watch them squirm. Seriously, it needs to be one full minute! LOL


One evening a relative said something extremely sexist to me. I just stared at him … for a long time. He began to stammer and over explain what he meant, digging a deeper hole. I shook my head, and walked away. I didn't need a comeback. The silence spoke for itself. (But as you see above, the comebacks can be just as fun too.)


Food for thought, keep your own questions about someone else's relationship status to YOURSELF. If the single person didn't ask for your opinion on their relationship status, why do you think you need to give it?


I am getting more and more frustrated with ignorance. So if you find me staring at someone for a minute, think to yourself ... what ignorant comment did that person just make?


Bloggers Note:  The original broadcast I am referring to came from the radio station NPR. I could not find the corresponding online article. Check out NPR for other great broadcasts, articles and essays.
www.npr.org (National Public Radio)








5 comments:

  1. My retort would be "why do you need to know? Are you writing a book about me?"

    On the children question.... I would say... "I'm sterile". That should really make them squirm. And if it's the same person asking both those questions, then I would add... "and you can put that in the book".

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHA - I'm going to hold my questions now...

    ReplyDelete