These days, the Internet name generator memes are all the rage. Remember the first one though before the Internet took over? Your porn star name? It was infamous! That was the one where your porn star name was the first name of your first pet and your last name was the first street name you grew up on. Hence, I became .... Smokey Maple. Nice, huh?
The name game memes are ubiquitous on Facebook and other social media platforms. I come across a new one every holiday or season. They have become as annoying as those stories you see on your feed you link into but have to friggin' hit the next button for every new page. I don't have time to hit 'next' 32 times just to see some dude wrestling a boa constrictor! Argh!
I decided to tackle these name memes once and for all. I posted my 15 favorites because I know you are just dying to know what my "stoner elf name" or my "pirate name" is. And I have to admit, it was kinda fun.
Star Destroyer name: Black Chicken Nugget (now THAT will instill fear in those annoying Rebels!)
Christmas Elf name: Pixie Glitter-Balls (LOL Yeah, that's me.)
Stoner Elf name: Buddy Cottonmouth (Nailed it.)
Drunken Elf name: Lit Snowpee (That is just adorable ...)
Pirate name: Dead Man Creeper Bart (Nah, I'd rather be Scallyway Squilly Hornswaggle)
Leprechaun name: Bleary McDoodles (I LOVE this since my Mom's nickname was Abby Doodles!)
Blues name: Jailhouse Bones Rivers (pretty cool)
Game of Thrones sword name: Sovereign Spirit (Beware, I'll will strike you down!)
Super Hero name: Chocolate Tornado (Um, no thanks. It sounds like something that happens after bad food poisoning...)
Snarky Super Hero name: Plucky Dare Devil (Now THIS I can work with.)
Heavy Metal Band name: Satan's Death (Kind of an oxymoron though, isn't it? I mean if I love Satan and heavy metal, I wouldn't wanna see him dead.)
Country Star name: Johnny "Hoss" McDean ... Famous for ... Nothing Matters Than a 12 Point Buck (Well I do live in Schuylkill County, PA!)
DJ Name: DJ Cracka Ass Banger (HAHAHAHAHA! PERFECT!)
Wrestler name: Outlaw Viper (And my move would be the "Shaken Martini" lol - I bartend in the wrestling ring, too.)
Zombie name: Moldy Haunted Soul
That would be awful as I am highly allergic to mold. I'd be the only Zombie in existence with an Albuterol inhaler for my post-apocalyptic asthma.