Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!
Frazzled Marc, half way through my 40s!

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Christmas in July

At the Lodge with my new bartender. 😏

"Christmas in July" events are now becoming pretty popular. Apparently 4 months of Christmas shopping starting in September and leading up to December 25th are not enough so people have to celebrate another month in the middle of the year JUST IN CASE they have forgotten how to be joyously merry. πŸ˜’

The Hallmark Channel has totally capitalized on this month long event. As if the constant stream of romance movies weren't enough to drive you over the edge, you will now have 33 Christmas themed movies to look forward to in the coming months. It is nice though to see that certain 80s and 90s actors are gainfully employed again. I'm sure Candace Burrell, Andie MacDowell and James Denton are happy.

Several bars in the Allentown area are having events for the faux-holiday. One bar is having entertainment and a costume contest. I hope its an indoor ugly sweater contest. I mean how many fully dressed Santas are gonna show up at a bar in summer heat? And unless you and your friends are going as elves or reindeer, there just aren't that many Christmas costume options.

But good things do happen as a result of these celebrations. I've seen many food and toy drives. Food pantries are always in need this time of year. They receive an overabundance of donated canned goods in December and then unfortunately, they are all but forgotten come the summer time.

Visit any weekend yard sales over the summer and you'll see an overwhelming plethora of toys for sale for a quarter here, a dollar there. Gee folks, here's a bright idea, just donate to these unused toys to the toy drives! I mean all that work for $10.00 profit on toys from your yard sale? Save some time, do a good deed by donating the toys, and if you must ... take a tax write-off  πŸ˜•

Our community Lodge had a Christmas in July dinner which featured ham or turkey. It was very popular and sold-out. In years past, Christmas decorations were put up. Unfortunately this year, that did not occur so it was Christmas-in-food only. I blame lack of volunteerism. There just aren't enough volunteers in our communities these days. But that's another blog, another time.

I bartended that evening. I even went to the local thrift store and looked for a Christmas-y t-shirt but none were available. There were row after row of  Christmas decorations available for purchase. I settled for a SpongeBob SquarePants dressed in holiday garb to represent my "Christmas in July" spirit. He also was hired as our replacement bartender since my bud Darren is leaving the Lodge end of August. Hopefully he will be easier to train ... just kidding Darren!

I AM looking forward to decorating the Christmas tree this year. That's a favorite holiday activity of mine. I get out all the ornaments from years past, including a new one I pick up each year. I lay them all out and start deciding where to put each one. My favorite tree ornaments are my Mom's ornaments I received after she passed away, ornaments of my childhood, and various cat-themed ones acquired over the years.  My all-time favorite tree ornament has to be Bugs Bunny Carmen Miranda!

Bugs Bunny as Carmen Miranda


I read online that there is a certain way to decorate trees. Start with the lights at the top, work your way down going round and round. Then drape the garland the same way, top first of course. After that, do the ornaments, heaviest towards the inside, lightest towards the outside. OK WHATEVER. I say open a bottle of wine, beer, or whatever your favorite libation may be, eggnog included, and decorate the tree HOW YOU WANT! All I know is that Bugs Bunny goes FRONT and CENTER!

You better start shopping too, there are only 150 days left until Christmas.
You can 'Bah Humbug!' me later!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

BACK ON TRACK (wit da gym)



"Some days, I feel like a sack of potatoes."

GUESS WHAT PEOPLE!! I took a break from my work-outs. I stopped working out on a regular basis during the month of June and .... OMG ... no... don't say it ... don't even think it ... SAY IT AIN'T SO JOE ... I ... GAINED ... WEIGHT!! OK OK OK, everyone take a breath. Breathe deeply and take a sip of water. Don't mind me, I'm gonna just eat this Hershey's Kiss. NO NO! Don't do it!!! (I did and enjoyed it.)

I've had a stressful month. I mean I went on vacation!! OK OK it wasn't really a stressful month. But I did eat and drink my way through June 2017. Is that wrong? Is that bad??? I mean, I have been so good for this last year!

(By the way.. if you haven't figured it out by now, don't take my ranting too seriously. I'm more harder on myself than anyone ever could be.) 

I initially took a break or two due to injury ... possibly a rotator cuff tear which had healed into scar tissue during a previous injury may or may not have involved a CASE of Dom Perignon falling from a shelf during my Ritz-Carlton days during the early 2000's which was caught by an awesome arm maneuver on MY part which unfortunately I couldn't be drug tested at that time because ... OK another blog another time.

AND I had another injury from tennis elbow due to lifting. NOW anyone who knows me KNOWS I do not play tennis. I am physically uncoordinated for it. There's a law on the books about it in Skook Cty. "Marc Haynes cannot play tennis because he is physically uncoordinated. HOWEVER, Marc Haynes can make drinks for those playing tennis."  LOL 

THEN, I had my 47th birthday which was EFFING awesome because I realized how thankful I am about sh!t! :) I did work out here and there but decided to also eat and drink here and there and enjoy my June. Then what happened??? UM.... I gained weight. I became pudgy. I became chunky again. I felt like a sack of potatoes ... maybe fingerlings? NICE TRY. OK, maybe redskins? NOPE. REALLY? OK who are we kidding, Idaho Russets! wah wah wah.... 

It was tough, difficult, embarrassing. Then I was like, WHAT do I have to be embarrassed about??? I am human! I have been in the best friggin' shape of my life for the last several years! We all get older, we all get stressed out, we turn to ways to help with the stress like food and drink .... we all falter on our workouts. The key is to GET BACK ON TRACK.. Get back on that horse and keep riding! 

But a couple things... Working out is tough. It's NOT meant to be easy my friends. I get into slumps just like anyone else. I get down, sad, miserable, gloomy. It's gonna happen. Being honest, these emotions were involved with me too. Life is tough. We go through ups and down. When you are down, you do not wanna work out. It's easier to grab that bag of chips or a beer and veg and watch an episode of Friends. OMG OMG I still LOVE reruns of FRIENDS. LOLOL. 

BUT, you, me, all of us, need to get back on track. It's for our mental health, our physical health. I'll work the weight off. I know that. Once you start working out for a while, you can gauge how long it would take you to work off 10 pounds. I'm looking at about two months of cardio and serious lifting to get back to where I was feeling good. 

I'll do it AND until I do, I will once again post when I'm at the gym. It keeps me in check. As I've been told and completely appreciate, it gives motivation to other as well. That means a helluva alot, THANK YOU. You know who you are!! And you kids who find it annoying ... Whatever. I've said it before and I'll say it again: don't follow me. (I know some of you already do so no biggie. Comes wit da territory! Don't bother me none.) 

SO ... what to do, what to do ... First, lemme put down this Whoopie Pie (PA Dutch thing) and put down this very strong heavy beer (manly man thing) and get my gym clothes ready for tomorrow's work out. 

If I haven't said it before, I truly appreciate when people like that I am at the gym. I hope that I may continue to motivate you but YOU my friends MOTIVATE ME! Get back on that horse!  (I'd rather it be a kangaroo or giraffe. That's be pretty exciting to ride. Or maybe an elephant! OK, I know, another blog, another time...) 

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

FOURTH of JULY



Many fireflies in the yard,
Memories of the 4th as a child,
Hotdogs by the dozen, dripping mustard,
Many t-shirts lost...