Me, Sher, and Ad

Me, Sher, and Ad
Bro Adam and sis Sher, my rocks!

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Great Quote by Edgar Allan Poe

like reading this again when I am settling down in the evening to write with a beer, glass of wine, or bourbon by my side.

"Filled with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visitors clamber, Through the chamber of my brain - Quaintest thoughts - queerest fancies, Come to life and fade away; What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today." 
- Edgar Allan Poe

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Lesson Learned as a Young Man

"Parvin State Park"

When I hike, my mind wanders. I was in the end stretch of a 7 mile hike on the Elk Trail in Elk County, PA when I thought back to one of the greatest lessons by my father that I have ever learned. Ironically on the Elk Trail, I saw no elk. I saw signs of elks: their scat, their prints in the mud, but no elk. I did see elk in pretty much everyone's front yard in Benezette and Weedville, PA though. The elk, as it seems, like to hang out in yards filled with grass, lazily munching away.

Back to the lesson from my father, it was and to this day, a memorable and important one. It stayed with me because it rattled my core. My father was disappointed in me. I learned from it and he forgave me. For that I am thankful. And I never forgot the lesson he taught me.

I was in Cub Scouts as a young boy. Went through the Webelos (between 10-12 yrs of age) and then onto Boy Scouts for a couple years. Dropped out. Wasn't for me. Moved on with life... ha-ha... my BUSY childhood life. During the time that I was in Webelos, I went camping with my troop with my Dad, my Uncle Carl, and my cousin Carl as well as several good close friends from Wenonah, NJ.

We camped at Parvin State Park in South Jersey. I think there were about 10 of us kids. One afternoon, the entire troop went on a 3 miles hike around the park. Dad and Uncle Carl treated the hike as a learning experience, showing us scouts (we were kinda pre-scouts) the nature, flora, and fauna of a Pine Barrens forest.

One of my best school buddies and I ignored my father's efforts to make it a group event and charged ahead like it was a race. We ignored my Dad's directives to slow down and remain with the troop. My friend and I decided to continue on ahead. And charge ahead we did, we completed the trail in record time. We left everyone in the dust. We won... or did we?

No, sadly, we did not. We won nothing except bragging rights over a group of kids that did not even care. How sad, we won bragging rights for ourselves.

It was supposed to be a learning group activity: observing the woods and surrounding swamp, living in the moment, observing nature. It was not a competition, it was not a race.

After the hike, I remember lying in my tent on my sleeping bag with my arms clasped behind my head all smug. My Dad came poked his head into my tent and stated to me sternly, "I'm very disappointed in you. It was NOT a race." I was crushed by my father's disappointment. I stayed in my tent awhile, thoroughly embarrassed by what had happened.

Eventually, I came outside and rejoined my fellow scouts by the fire. I don't know if my Dad said anything about it to my friend. It didn't matter though. The fact that he scolded me for something which should've been so obvious was meaningful enough. What he had said affected me and got through to me.

I looked at Dad and said I was sorry. Dad, in his always peaceful and calm voice said, "It's OK Marc, just learn from it."

I did. And this is one of those life lessons you learn from and apply it to events which occur down the road for the rest of your life. It was an important life
lesson from a kind loving father, my biggest influence besides my mother to this day.

Life goes by too fast. It's not a race. Take notice of what is around you. Look at the trees in the forest, not just the forest. Listen to the birds, the rustling of a squirrel running through the leaves. The smells of the woods, the mossy areas. Take heed of your sense. Apply this to life, your day to day existence.

Don't let the little things pass you by. While shopping at the supermarket, smell your veggies and fruit. I mean REALLY STOP AND SMELL those oranges! Pet your dog or cat. Feel how soft they are. How they purr or how happy they are that you are giving them affection. Cook your meal and actively admire how good it smells in your kitchen. Listen to music while cooking. Enjoy the jazz, classical, or classic rock. What ever turns you on!

Slow down, turn on your sense, and take a deep breath. You'll be a better person for it.

Friday, November 17, 2017


"Miss Moxie Don't Care About Adulting"  

I  put up a post on Facebook this evening where I stated "Not looking for sympathy ... maybe a lil. There are weeks I just don't feel like I do ADULTING well. :( " I feel like I need to elaborate FOR ALL OF US! It's is SO TOUGH! AND .. The kicker is that I DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS!!!! lol How do YOU FOLKS do it???

With the immediate response on Facebook, I knew I needed to write a blog post about it. I've been enjoying myself so maybe the gin will help. LOL My Nana once said to me "Gin is the Devil's drink, and tonight I'm visiting the Devil!" Ha-ha, hopefully I won't be visiting the Devil tonight, just a little honesty and then bed.

It is really tough being an adult or ADULTING as we say these days. SO TOUGH this week. I find myself wanting to go back to the simplicity of my 20s.

Now overall I have it very lucky. I have a wonderful home, stable great (sometimes) job, and an  awesome relationship. But day to day life can be really tough sometimes. I try and juggle things and I find myself a mess. I often wonder how do people do it? How do they cope? I know others feel that way. I need to elaborate and let you know that I feel the same way. We feel it on different levels, but still, the same stress.

I know these are totally 1st world problems. I am FAR luckier than those in this world. But considering I am not a millionaire or billionaire like Bill Gates or Donald Trump, I feel like I have a right to bitch for a bit.

My commute this week has been horrible. An hour each way. Twice late into work this week due to accidents or traffic. I also got almost crunched by tractor trailers on the way home one night and then t-boned another evening. Just shook me to the core. I have been commuting to my government job an hour both ways for the last 13 years in two counties! It is so stressful.

Not to mention, I feel like I cannot get the yard work done. I get home at 5:30 PM or 6 PM and it's dark! I try and fit in yard work wherever I can. And I feel like my yard is crap compared to my retired neighbors who can do yard work during DAYLIGHT. I am not gonna rake leaves in the DARK! What ever will happen will happen on the weekend, so my dear neighbors, the yard work WAITS until the weekend! I know it sounds like I am knocking retired people,

I come home, try and do dishes, get the laundry done, try and clean a room or two, clean the cat box, do garbage, and THEN try and do gym. May I'll eat dinner at 8PM and then a drink or two before bed. Then REPEAT! Throw in doing bills on my breaks at work, fit in the grocery, fix up stuff CONSTANTLY at home, I am just besides myself.

I made a mistake on a bill this month, chose 11/22 for my cable bill payment, when it should've been 11/12 and Comcast was ready to shut off my ass. OH MY GOD!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!??! Are you KIDDING ME????? I get so exhausted, I forgo gym some days and try and try and focus on the house. Clean this room or clean that room. Try and keep up on the wash.

Oh and WHAT'S for DINNER? Did you pick up anything? Did I pick up anything? Whose turn was it? DOES IT MATTER? If it's my turn, I will pick cans of tuna or sauce and pasta EVERY NIGHT! What ever is EASIEST.

OK need to fill those damn bird feeders because the birds actually relax me unless those damn squirrels eat all the bird see and then I wanna go postal on the local wildlife!!! I also have a woodpecker eating the side of my house now. Sound familiar?

Oh and people say for me to further my relaxation like write more or play the piano more often (I took lessons 10 years). YEAH, clone me and then we'll talk about extracurricular activities. And remember, I am asking you to clone me. How ridiculous is that? I'm asking for a clone so I have time to do fun stuff.

And I need to replace the bulbs in the front hall way chandelier. So I drag the ladder out from the basement, set it up in the front hall way, reach up to get out the burnt out bulb. Replace the bulb from Home Depot which I spent $$$ on for three of them. The bulb F*CKING breaks OFF in the socket!!!! SO NOW.... I need to go to the basement, turn off the power so I can remove the broken bulb from the socket without electrocuting myself!!!! And then replace it AGAIN.

I'm exhausted this week AND AGAIN, I DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN! HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO IT???? This is nuts. There has to be a better way but I am just doing the minimum!!!

I am pretty good at time management. I just get into weeks where I suck at this thing called being an ADULT. I sometimes feel like I had a better handle on my life in my 20s when I was a simple waiter/bartender living on my tips week to week. Now I am in a government position making more than I was before. It doesn't matter, income is relative to what you are dealing with at the time. I just don't have the time!

What is that line from a rap song? Mo Money MO PROBLEMS?

I hate to say it, but that night-cap definitely helps destress me. Again, I have it FAR easier than others. I feel for what they go through. But... back to me. LOL Dealing with stress sucks. But thinking about how hard others have it while writing this blog ... it tempers me a bit. I will try and remember I have it pretty well. Stress still f*cking sucks though. GOD, give me strength....

This is for all my friends who feel the same way:

Please share what you are dealing with! Misery definitely loves company!