Saturday, October 13, 2018
I was walking into work one recent Monday and decided to cut across the smoking area of our government parking deck. It's a small triangular shaped overhang area, no bigger than a 10x10 kitchen. No one was smoking at the time, it was just me trying to save a step or two. I wasn't running late, just moving into work at a pretty decent clip.
I diagonally crossed through the area when at that very instant a large drop of water fell from the concrete parking deck and landed exactly between my glasses and into my right eyeball! I screamed to no one, "WHAT THE HELL?"
I quickly took off my glasses and wiped the bong water from my right eyeball as its remainder was dripping down my face. I am sure I caused a corneal abrasion from wiping my eye with my shirt sleeve.
It had rained the evening prior. This large drop had perfectly navigated air currents to drop at the exact space between my eyeglass lens and my eyeball! I was freaking out. I rushed into work blindly scrambling to turn my computer with the use of my one good eye.
I needed WebMD IMMEDIATELY. If only I could've called "Dr. Bombay, Dr. Bombay, Come in please!?" and have him pop in from having tea while on some safari like he would do for Samantha in that 60's show Bewitched.
But no.... I had to rely on sketchy modern medical science! I was sure at this point that my eye was beginning to burn from some horrible amoebic and bacterial infection which had previously been lurking in one of the crevasses of that 50s concrete behemoth of a parking garage and NOW had taken hold of my eyeball in it's quest to leave me blind!!
I was on my way to becoming blind in one eye and would be forced to wear a patch. They'd call me Officer Patchy from now on. No more Officer Haynes! Coworkers would try and convince me it was OK with the patch. I would wear a themed patch for each holiday. I'd have a patch for Halloween, one for Christmas, and one for Easter. My life would now have me known for wearing the patch.
It seemed like an eternity for my computer to come up. I sat there for ages with my eye now burning and I think I felt a fever coming on. Once the computer was up, I immediately began searching the web for similar stories and thankfully, I was not the only one this happened too.
There were many, many people that this happened to in other circumstances. Some people were like me, had water drip from a dirty building into their eye. Others, while playing sports usually, got splashed in the eyes with dirty puddle water. And still others had gross eye-encounters with toilet water, dirty sink water, and pond water. I was NOT ALONE!
I always feel better when I can commiserate with other people, even it means with strange internet people with user-names like Reddit user "Nacho-bizniz" or Yahoo users "Die Brucke" or "Justlikesgravy". They recommended flushing the eye with water, washing my hands, and taking eye drops. I did all of those but still was skeptical. I needed statistics!
A user on Yahoo (the aforementioned "Justlikesgravy") stated that if I were not a contact lens wearer, there was a 1 in 10 million chance of contracting an eye infection. I felt a little better with this knowledge from SUCH a trustworthy not to mention noteworthy source.
I did some further research and the consensus did seem to be that I would be OK. Just flush out the eye. The body is pretty well able to handle splashes of questionable water in one's eye without issue.
Well the infection never came and quite honestly, by lunch time, I had pretty much forgotten about it all. The drama was over until I left that day and walked towards that same parking garage overhang.
I cautiously stared up at the overhang 10 feet away. I was going to say Eff-it and charge through, walking underneath with the confidence of someone walking under a ladder. Yeah the drop won that day. I walked around the overhang to my car.
Friday, September 7, 2018
Here are the quotes associate with my 4th podcast "A Great Friend, Mom, and Career Woman", my interview with good friend Becky Kitchmire. I also included a direct link to the podcast episode.
If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn (actress)
I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to said my ship. - Louisa May Alcott (author, Little Woman)
I have learned over the years, that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. Rosa Parks (civil rights activist)
Favorite quotes from my friend and guest Becky:
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka (actor)
Time is a precious thing. Never waste it. - Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka (actor)
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
|(Photo by Simon Robben from Pexels)|
This is a topic I know many of you can relate to. I know you are out there with me, in the deep dark night. We wonder together who among us, who is awake? I see you online late at night. We commiserate together, sleepless in that silent house on that dark street in that quiet town or city. We send sad and frustrated messages back and forth, "ME TOO!" 😡
I can usually figure out why I can't sleep. Last night, I worked out late but I'm usually OK with that. I can still fall asleep at a decent hour after exhausting myself at the gym. Some people recommend that you shouldn't work out so late, gives you too much energy. I've never had a problem. I sleep like a baby.
Last night was different. I stared at the ceiling for an hour. Closed my eyes for an hour. Opened them and then BAM! It was already 2:30 AM. I got up, hit the head, checked the house, petted the cats for a bit, then got back into bed to try again. I know I dozed off at some point but it was a restless sleep.
My alarm went off at 6:30 AM. Sure... I was in a deep slumber at that point! It always works out that way. You finally fall asleep and the damn alarm goes off. If I had the sick time I would've called off for the morning. Instead, I dragged myself outta bed and hit the coffee hard. And the day drags on...
So why the insomnia last night? I looked at what I drank and there was nothing out of the ordinary. I don't drink caffeine after 5 PM for this reason. I know it keeps me up. Even a soft drink has the tendency to keep me awake. If I am out having a drink at a bar, I won't mix it with a soda other than tonic or club soda due to the effects of the caffeine.
I couldn't figure it out and then it hit me, I took my new gym supplement too late! It was just after 7 pm but was enough to keep me full of energy until late in the evening. I didn't even realize it until I thought back. I hadn't taken it that late before. Again, usually I won't take it after 5, 5:30 at the latest! Chalk one up for the lesson books.
I also get insomnia due to an over active mind or bouts of anxiety. My mind races on things I have to do the next morning, the next week, the next month! I have learned to calm myself down for the most part but sometimes it just doesn't help.
I go through the motions of relaxing my body, regulating my breathing, and meditating. I learned this waaay back in school from my teacher and mentor, Elaine Arbo. I still use it this technique today. I start at the tips of my toes and tense then up as much as I can for a good 5-10 seconds. I usually can't get past 5. I then release the toe muscles. I move on to my feet, then my ankles, then my calves.
I keep going up throughout my body, tensing up each muscle and then relaxing. All the while, I breath deeply in and out. I focus my breathing, regulate it. I mentally focus on a small pinpoint of light inside my mind. All the while, tensing up and relaxing, moving up my body. Whatever is weighing heavily on my mind eventually subsides. It definitely helps me. Hopefully it can help you if your try it..
Last month I was up at 3:30 AM and just couldn't fall asleep. So what did I do? I got up. I figured as I had off the next day (weekend) I might as well be productive. I folded two baskets of laundry. I swept the hallway floor. I wrote for awhile. I washed the dishes. Got the coffee ready for the next morning. I basically tried to wear myself down. My cats Max and Moxie followed me from room to room wondering "What the Hell is going on?" I got more done in that hour and half and by 5 AM was ready for bed.
I slept until 11 AM that Saturday and that was the best morning sleep I ever had! The cats slept the entire day away. Lucky pains in the butt!
*** I did not even realize this but this is my 400th PUBLISHED BLOG POST! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog!
Wednesday, August 22, 2018
|(Pic courtesy of Pexels.com)|
I want to comment on something that I see happen fairly often. I was riding as a passenger in my buddy's car this past weekend when he was inching out to zoom across a busy intersection where there is no stop light. Friends from Schuylkill County will know this intersection. It's the one with Ken's Tires and Hoss's Restaurant on the corners at the Cressona Mall. You have to pretend you are in the 80s video game "Frogger" and zoom across the busy road to the mall area. I HATE this intersection.
It's rather nerve-racking on an average day. You look right and left and repeat several times to avoid traffic driving through as well as traffic from ALL directions turning in and out of the shopping complexes on both sides of the roadway! If you get a time where there is no traffic coming from anywhere, consider yourself lucky because that is a rarity.
He had inched out, looking to make his move. Someone was driving up to make a left hand turn into the Cressona Mall complex where we were trying to cross into. Suddenly, some dip-shit zoomed around the turning car and narrowly avoided T-boning my buddy's car.
I SCREAMED "LOOK OUT!!!!!" I slammed on my imaginary passenger brake and braced for impact. The young idiot zipped around amid cursing and horn honking from my buddy.
He barked at me, "I SAW HIM!!!!"
Me, "WELL I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP! WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM?"
"WELL I DID, SO I DIDN'T NEED YOU FREAKING OUT!"
Now to be fair, yes ... yes ... I did freak out in the manner that a Frazzled at Forty guy would. And then I thought about it. I would've reacted the same way as he did to passengers in my car.
Whenever my sister Sheryl slams on her imaginary passenger brake and yells, "Watch out!!!" I bark back at her, "I SEE THEM! I DON'T NEED YOU TELLING ME HOW TO DRIVE!"
Why is it that we take such offense to someone who is just trying to help us avoid a potential accident? We all do it. The driver goes immediately on the defensive basically accusing the passenger of not trusting their driving ability. I've been on both sides and reacted the same way.
Why is it that it is so hard that we cannot accept someone's honest concern that we may get into an accident and instead interpret their observation as hostile criticism. And then, hostility meets hostility. Your thoughts?
What we SHOULD learn to do is to recognize that our passenger is acting as a second set of eyes in the happenchance that an oncoming accident may occur. And if you are the passenger, realize that if you alert the driver to avoid an accident, he or she may already be aware of the situation and may find it offensive that you are questioning their judgment driving. Either way, a little patience in understanding the differences and similarities of concern versus criticism could prevent the issue from evolving into a screaming match!
Food for thought. 😉
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "One can't believe impossible things."
"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Saturday, August 11, 2018
|1988 Porsche 911|
|1988 Porsche 924 GT|
|1988 Mazda Miata|
When I was younger, I used to dream of driving a Porsche 911 or a Porsche 924 GT. I ended up with a Nissan Sentra and went happily on my way. In college, I loved and wanted a Mazda Miata. I test drove one in 1989 with my fraternity brother Steve. It was like driving a bucket of bolts, felt every bump! But it was really fun to ride. I went home from college and still drove that Nissa Sentra. BUT I had those posters of the Porsches on my walls throughout college!
|1987 Nissan Sentra|
Mom always LOVED the Honda's. She had an Accord for years and then when that died, got herself a brand new Civic. When she passed, she left the Civic to my sister Sheryl. Love that. 💖
|1987 Honda Accord|
I moved into Philly and didn't have a need for a car so I didn't get one until my late 20s. I've since owned mostly economical vehicles for work: a Ford Escort, a Saturn station wagon, a small Toyota Tacoma, and now a Toyota Camry.
|My 2006 Camry, still going! :)|
Now is the time I have to start saving that $100.00 a month towards a future vehicle. I need to be honest with myself. It's gonna happen one day. She's gonna run her last ride. Repairs are still few and far between but I just found out that she will need a new converter pipe. UGH. Luckily, it can be held off for a month or two.
|2018 Toyota Camry|
When I look for a new vehicle, I really wanna look for something I want. I'm 48 and have never bought a vehicle on what I wanted in terms of style. I have picked ones which were economical. I mean, sure... I'm not gonna be dopey and still take gas mileage and commuting into account as factors. But honestly and truly, I want to buy one in which I say, I've ALWAYS wanted that car!
|2018 Toyota Tacoma|
I also go back and forth about a 4WD or AWD vs 2WD. Living in Skook County, ya really need something for the winter snow to get around. I may settle on that Tacoma just yet!
Blogger's note: I claim no ownership of these pics! They are borrowed from online and are for representation purposes ONLY. Thank you, The Management...
Tuesday, August 7, 2018
Just this past week, a young friend on Facebook was contemplating taking his own life. I had seen the post 2 hours after all of it started to go down. He had posted a "good-bye" message which had understandably freaked out and scared many people. His close friends began immediately reaching out to him. Luckily, and happily, his friends got in touch with his family and talked him out of it.
It was shocking and saddening but became heartwarming to see all of these people (most that I don't know) come together and work together to try and save this man and get him some emotional help. It worked, they contacted his family, and he is here today. Hopefully he is getting the emotional support he needs and deserves. Today, he started his day off with a message on Facebook: "Good Morning." I liked it and thought to myself, Yes it is, because you are still with us today my friend!
Most people have difficult weeks here and there but no where near what this guy has been going through. Blue periods stem from insecurity, inadequacy and the fear of failure. One gets withdrawn and pulls into themselves. Those weeks, you begin questioning what you are doing and can become rather reclusive.
One still gets up and goes to work. Gotta pay the bills. You avoid people at work though. You wait to walk in so as to avoid contact. Go to lunch 5 minutes later, again just to avoid contact. But you get through it. And soon enough one gets through it and you are back to having good days.
But those with clinical, or major depression don't have many good days if at all. They hurt emotionally. It just isn't a blue period. It affects their mood, their sleep, their appetite. One may have significant weight loss, lose interest in activities which they once loved, and have feelings of hopelessness and feelings of suicide. Learn to recognize the symptoms and signs in yourself as well as others.
My young friend had so many people who reached out to him. He acknowledged appreciatively how many people cared. Sometimes you just need those affirmations to get through it to the next day. But he may need more help than what people realize. And there is nothing wrong with that. Now I don't know his exact situation except for his public hurt. I am generalizing as I feel we need to be aware that there are people around us who are in emotional pain and need help.
As WebMD.com states, "treatment with counseling, medication, or both is a key to recovery." Recovery and treatment from clinical depression does not happen overnight. It may become a life-long commitment to dealing with it.
When I have blue periods, I know I'll get out of them. Usually it just takes cuddling from one of the cats, a beautiful drive, or something which makes me laugh. It may just be a bad day and tomorrow will be better.
Others may be having more than just a bad day. If you see someone who is struggling, don't blow it off. Maybe they do need just a little pep talk to lift their spirits but maybe it is something more and they need a more professional type of help. But in the meantime, a hug or kind and reassuring words do wonders.
Other numbers which may be helpful:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 800-273-8255
Depression Hotline: https://www.psychguides.com/guides/depression-hotline/ 866-236-5127
National Hopeline Network: www.imalive.org 800-SUICIDE
***Blogger's note: Not my pic.
Monday, July 30, 2018
|(LINK Suncoast Pic)|
My second shortest job lasted just shy of one week. It was at that extinct dinosaur of a video store, Suncoast Video at the old Echelon Mall in Voorhees, NJ. http://www.deadmalls.com/malls/echelon_mall.html
The year was 1990, I was 20, and the Star Wars Trilogy 3 VHS tape collection was just released. I was and still AM a total Star Wars fan! I was in a word, ecstatic!
Being a poor college student, I could only wander between Sam Goody and Suncoast video and dream of what movies I wanted to buy! The Star Wars Trilogy was at the top of the list. But how to get it? I had finished my sophomore year at Rutgers with just barely enough gas money to get me from New Brunswick, NJ back to my hometown of Wenonah, NJ.
Back from college for the summer, I immediately plotted on how I would be able to purchase the Trilogy. Dad asked me if I was going to get a summer job and I was said, maybe, I'm not sure, perhaps, something easy with lots of money. It was the summer after my sophomore year and honestly, I just wanted to chill and enjoy myself.
OK back to the plotting... how to get a summer job and buy the Trilogy. I considered doing yard work for money, NOPE. I wanted to work in a fun place with people my own age in AIR CONDITIONING! Suddenly a bright light bulb went off above my head. Why not get a job where I was could get the Star Wars Trilogy, get an employee discount on the Trilogy AND work in air conditioning? The local mall!
I immediately drove down in our 1987 red Nissan Sentra to the Suncoast video at the Echelon Mall and applied for a retail position. They called two days later and scheduled me for an interview. I met the manager, a very tall and pretty gal in her upper 20s named Daniele. She was gung-ho and 100% Miss SUNCOAST VIDEO. OK I thought, I gotta shmooze this gal...
|(Not my pic)|
Daniele met me the first day and brought me around the store. After a 30 minute meaningless tour of where the horror movies were, the drama, the comedy, the romance, and also something called the classics, she put me on the floor to begin just helping people.
30 minutes later of me hiding behind the fantasy/sci-fi videos just drooling over the Star Wars Trilogy VHS box set, some kid walked up, "Where are the horror movies?" "I dunno, over there," rolling my eyes and pointing towards the musicals. "OK, thanks man."
After another couple minutes, someone else needed help! UGH! Such needy people!!! It was some older lady. "Young boy, can you tell me where the documentaries are?" I replied, "I don't even know what those are!" I shuffled her off to the classics.
Daniele came over an hour later and asked how everything was going, "Great!" I exclaimed. "I'm helping lots of people!" "OK," she replied. I knew she didn't buy it. I really didn't care because my next question was the all important one.
"Um, Daniele, I have a question. What's my employee discount? Do I get one?"
"Yeah, of course! 30%. Do you see something you want?"
"Uuuuh, I dunno, I'm just wondering," (knowing full well that I was gonna get that VHS box set on my first paycheck.) "And when do we get paid?"
"Well Marc, you'll get a smaller paycheck because it's not a full pay period, but we'll pay you on Friday."
"Oh that's OK, I was ... just wondering about that too."
"OK, if you have any questions, lemme know." Daniele retreated to the office to work on something involving boring paperwork.
Someone else came up and asked if I knew if they had any movie posters and I replied that I didn't work there. He pointed out that I had a name-tag on (damn that name-tag) and I told him that I kept forgetting that I worked there since it was my first day. I directed him over to the movie t-shirts instead.
The week passed so slow with me each day constantly misdirecting people in the store. I finally worked that Friday eagerly awaiting my paycheck. When Daniele gave it to me, I noticed it had been written on a bank in the mall. She confirmed that I could cash it on my break if I wanted to. As soon as that clock hit 3:30pm, I bolted out of the store and hit the bank for some cold hard cash.
Coming back from break, I had 5 minutes left to buy the VHS set. I plunked down the cash and of course made sure I got that all important 30% discount. One of the sales gals put it in a Suncoast Video bag and I deposited it in the employee break room until the end of the day. I couldn't wait for the shift to end! I sped home as quick as my little red Nissan Sentra could take me.
I barely ate dinner and that evening watched a marathon of the first Star Wars: A New Hope, then The Empire Strikes Back and finally Return of the Jedi VHS tapes in one sitting late into the evening. I called Daniele on Saturday and informed her that I wouldn't be coming into work on Sunday. She asked me if I were sick and I stated "Sorry, I misspoke. I won't be coming back into work at all."
We had a brief conversation on the reasons why: I didn't think retail was for me, I bought the Star Wars Triology, and I didn't like helping people. She told me I sucked and hung up on me.
Saturday, July 28, 2018
So I began my first shift and was ordered into the backroom. The manager was this twenty something German accented dude named Karl or Klaus or whatever who proceeded to rip me up and down about the clothes that I wore to my first day. Now REALIZE I was a RUTGERS student. I wore a Rutgers sweatshirt to my first day as I had not been given any other directive and DUH!!!! WE WERE ON THE RU CAMPUS!
Karl or Klaus directed me rather caustically to handle the front. Um.. what was I supposed to do? He stated in rather blunt English, "Handle the customers!" and walked away. OK, that was specific enough. People came in and I welcomed them to Benetton. NOPE apparently I was wrong.
I replied, "Well, I am welcoming them into the store...."
The brusque German stated, "You SHOULD be offering them options for clothing!!!!"
"OK, I will try harder. Um, it's my first day, remember?"
He turned quickly and marched away without saying anything. It was rather sudden and I was a little taken aback. But I still thought, what an asshole!
I replied, "OK, give me something to wear and I'll change into it."
Karl/Klaus snickered and said, "NO. We don't give, you buy."
"What??? I can't afford these clothes!? That's why I got a part time job in the first place! I can't afford anything!"
"We will allow you to pay for them over time," he brusquely countered.
"But what am I gonna do? Wear the same pants and sweater for the entire semester until I can afford to pay them off?" I exclaimed.
"Well you certainly cannot wear that," snorted KK gesturing to my Rutgers sweatshirt and acid-washed jeans.
"Are you kidding me?! You know what??? I'm DONE! I hate your crappy clothes. They are scratchy, uncomfortable and I HATE folding your ugly sweaters! I'm outta here!!"
The last thing I heard was Karl/Klaus/KK gasp LOUDLY as if he were shocked that someone FINALLY told his ass off! You would've thought I insulted Mother Teresa. I didn't wait for his reply. I marched right out of that store proudly in my Rutgers sweatshirt and my acid-washed jeans, never looking back.
The next week, I got a job in shipping and packing at the official Rutgers Bookstore next door. I worked for some old gay dude Alan in shipping and receiving who ordered me around left and right. I loved the guy. He was an awesome respectable boss and I never gave him props until now. HE WAS AWESOME. I'll never forget Alan. He was just SO GOOD at his job and I'll say it again, an awesome boss!
Benetton closed within the next couple years due to lack of business. I can't imagine why...
Monday, July 16, 2018
|Family Vacation Pics!|
|Holiday Isle Resort, Florida Keys|
#2. My family was traveling up to Boston to visit my Dad's friend Larry. We ended up meeting for dinner at a French café. I was 6 or 7. Nothing appealed to me on the menu. I insisted on eating French onion soup. It came out but was way too salty for me. I hated it. My meal that night was just a French baguette. One lonely French baguette.
#3. My family was traveling in our Country Squire station-wagon up to Mesa Verde, the ancient Anasazi Cliff Dwellings in Colorado at an altitude of 7000 feet. The road up is was very treacherous at that time. I was 7 or 8 at the time and screaming my head off because there were no guardrails at that time! The road meandered up 7000 feet around switchbacks with the cliffs dropping off only a couple feet off the road! My parents put me in the back trunk area of the station-wagon and covered me in the summer heat with a thick woolen blanket as I continued to scream my head off.
The torture continued through the drive up 7000 feet to the Cliff Dwellings. We made it up to the top of the mesa and I survived. I saw Mesa Verde and apparently stepped onto the "four corners" spot where one goes to step onto four states at once. I don't remember anything about it. ALL I remember is being covered by a hot woolen blanket in the hot summer heat in that station-wagon screaming my head off.
Mom confidently strode into a pub right on Bourbon Street commenting to Dad, "This looks like a nice place Bob ..." and then gasped. I looked up and there was a fully naked woman dancing on top of the bar. Mom had walked us into a strip club!!! I looked up and down the bar and there were breasts all over the place, several sets! With the right hook and speed of a professional fighter, Mom swung her hand down over my eyes and dragged my brother and I out of the bar.
#8. The same year, after Walt Disney World, we visited my Dad's cousin Bob and his wife Aileen in Kissimmee, Florida. They were my Dad's age at that time, in their 50's. Their home was SO modern, lots of Asian antiques. The rooms were arranged around a central courtyard. Very modern, very chic, very sophisticated.
|Vacation Pics 3!|
|Princess Grace's Ocean City home, NOT the one we gawked at!|
Friday, July 6, 2018
I think we need to always reevaluate and remind ourselves what is important in life. Most of what happens is not. Those that affect you positively, touch you, make you smile, are the important ones you need to constantly connect with. Forget those that bring you stress. God I wish I had this wisdom in my twenties. But those stutter steps and emotional injuries in my twenties have made me the strong person I am today. I miss the innocence though. Confidence and strength comes at a price. I wish everyone could gain the strength I have.
It's tough though.
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
|"Little Spider is there but ya can't see him. :)"|
As an unofficial rule, I normally don't comment on what is happening in our world, politically or religious. I will keep this to a minimum and keep it vague enough to satisfy my own viewpoint. I am so troubled by recent events. From the major, what is happening in the US and the world, to the smaller events (not minor, but smaller) like the election at my local Property Owners Association. It gets ugly, we all know this. And it gets me worried as well.
I worry for myself and my rights and I worry for our seniors. I worry for my neighbors and I worry for our environment. I worry for the world my niece and nephew will inherit. We have changed so far from where our parents were, as Democrats, Republicans, and Independents.
It doesn't matter who you are, things have changed. And by the way, I don't want to hear anyone's opinion on the matter. It's not necessary. I am just commenting on how I've noticed such a dramatic shift. The simple fact is that the world has changed. I don't recognize it anymore.
I glance just now at the two philodendron plants sitting on my shelf. They are actually the same philodendron plants that my mother grew from the 1980's. Over 20 years ago. They grew so much since that time, almost died, then brought back to life. I received one of them about 15 years ago and then the other after Mom passed, 9 years ago. I love the fact that these plants have been around me as long as my family.
In one of the philodendrons, the one with the faded Florida flamingo given to me by my Mom, the tiniest of little spiders is building a web. I cannot believe how tiny. He is the size of a pinhead. He won't hurt me and probably couldn't even pierce my skin. He is just going about his way, building his nest, his home. He wants to survive. He means no harm, just wants to survive.
I won't bother him. He'll take out a couple gnats for me here and there. I am mesmerized momentarily by the web he weaves. So intricate and so detailed ... all from instinct. I'll let him live his life out. My Dad used to say having a spider in the house was good luck. Well, "Pinhead", as I'll call him, you are one lucky spider. I'll let you live.
And for that brief moment, my worries disappeared...
Saturday, June 30, 2018
|"After 10 plus years, FINALLY immune to Max"|
Allergies this week have been the bane to my existence! What a tough week. I had hoped the storms earlier in the week would've washed all the pollen away but I was mistaken. I woke up each morning with swollen eyes and suffered through the nights with sneezing attacks. Each morning, I hit the bottle of allergy medicine even before I hit the shower.
I have lived with allergies throughout my 40 something years but these last couple weeks have been particularly tough. Allergies are a part of my life though. Most of the time, they're just an annoyance. I have eye allergies, asthma, skin allergies, and of course the sinus/nasal allergies. The prescriptions taken for each one arranged neatly in my medicine cabinet. I take what I need depending on what I'm suffering from that day and then go on about my morning.
When I was younger, I went to an allergist in Cherry Hill, NJ. They gave me a skin prick test on my back to test what allergen antibodies I reacted to. Well, I reacted to EVERY ONE (except seafood, thank God). Every food allergy: dairy, wheat, strawberries, peanuts, corn. Not to mention every grass, tress, pollen, dogs, cats, birds. You name it.
My entire back swelled up in one big hive. I was dying to scratch but couldn't until the doctor saw the results. After 15 agonizing minutes, he came in, looked at my back and exclaimed, "What the hell!?" All I wanted to know was ... "WHEN CAN I SCRATCH!?" The doctor replied, "Go ahead" and while my Mom and Dad finished up the appointment, I feverishly contorted my body scratching EVERY inch of my back.
I began taking allergy meds immediately. They put me on allergy shots and I was allergic to the them immediately. They gave me nausea and an upset stomach. After every dosage and subsequent visit, they lowered the dosage because I became nauseous. It came down to the point where the dosage was pretty much nonexistent and wouldn't have helped the allergies anyway! They stopped the shots and put me on allergy pills. I got better. Imagine that!
Years later, I found I grew a resistance to certain allergy meds and then started others. After 6 months, we tried something new. It worked for me. On and on the cycle went. But... at 48 I have survived these allergies. It's no big deal unless it's a bad week and then I need a day to drug myself up and get over them. And please don't talk to me about the homeopathic remedies. Tried them, didn't help to much and I'll pass. Give me my allergy pill!
So another annoyance in life and yet here I am. I have outgrown pretty much all of my food allergies. Interestingly enough, discovered an allergy to white vinegar in my 20s. Starts to close the throat up. But doesn't happen with red wine or balsamic vinegar. I developed asthma in my later 20s so that's a pain in the ass. I also found I'm allergic to erythritol. See my previous blog on that one! http://frazzledatforty.blogspot.com/2017/05/a-monster-allergic-reaction-erythritol.html
I am still allergic to cats and dogs. There are certain dogs which I am NOT allergic to. I think those are terriers and poodle breeds. And my cats too. I think I have developed a resistance to my own cats, Max and Moxie, after 10 plus years of being exposed to those pains in the ass. LOL. Life goes on and I deal with it.
I don't complain that much about it but decided to write a blog on the topic after suffering a particularly bad week due to seasonal allergies. How are other's faring? Do people take as much allergy meds as I do? LOL It's just a part of my life I deal with. Just don't bring a Shetland pony, a Saint Bernard dog, or a Himalayan cat around or we will have major problems. Unless there is Benedryl and then I'll be OK. But I'll fall asleep on ya. LOL
Monday, June 25, 2018
When I was out in San Diego, I discovered a couple awesome things about my Mom. After over 8 years since she passed, I think it's such a blessing when I learn something new. The first thing I learned (I mentioned it in my previous blog) was that my Grandpop Newman called my Mom "Goldilocks" as a child. My Mom's hair was golden blonde. My sister Sheryl recounted this memory for me as well as My Grandpop bestowing her, next, with the nickname "Goldilocks". I love that memory.
The other thing I found out was from my niece Angelica. During my recent trip out there, one evening we had a great convo about the tattoos which we want done. I was about to get my Sailor Jerry style tattoo honoring my Mom and I excitedly asked her what she wanted for her first tattoo. She confidently showed me the quote below, which I immediately loved. I asked her where it came from and she said that Nana, my Mom, used to quote it to her often in a postcard or two and sometimes when she visited.
There are things you already know about your mother and then there are things that you learn later on which perhaps ... you already knew deep down inside. There were times that I sensed my mother's unhappiness. But she held herself together with true strength and dignity. She had the most positive outlook and always felt things would be OK and work out. She was just so so positive for her children, Sheryl, Adam, and I, if not for the person who needed that the most, herself.
I needed that reminder and I can't tell you how much I admire my Mom for that. One day soon I will tell my niece the specifics of how this quote applied to her Nana's life. Until then, my niece has chosen an awesome quote given to her by her Nana for a first tattoo.
"She is clothed with Strength and Diginity and she laughs without Fear of the Future." - Proverbs 31:25
Sunday, June 24, 2018
Monday, June 18, 2018
Can you believe this? For all my partying and fun in my 48 years, I have NEVER been to Vegas! I am still a Vegas Virgin!
Well my friends, I plan on going to Vegas with my brother Adam and his family sometime in March or April 2019 to celebrate my brother's 50th birthday and his daughter, my niece Angelica's 21st birthday! WOW. What a double event! I think the family will need a chaperone for those two AND Uncle MARC! (At least always for Uncle Marc.)
Here are two GREAT commercials that I love from lasvegas.com. One is from a man's perspective and the other is from the woman's and then they meet up in each commercial. It is really a brilliant marketing campaign. The commercials are fun, colorful and playful. My Vegas experience will most likely end up with my in bed by 10 PM but a guy can dream, right? Please, I will do my utmost to have an exciting long weekend in Sin City! (Remember, whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!)
I'd like to see the old part of Las Vegas, Fremont Street, gamble a little, maybe take in a show, and hit the Mob Museum! And of course, the wining and dining. What's Vegas without at least one swanky restaurant or humongous buffet!? I don't do the club thing anymore since my 20s but I am sure there are plenty of bars to hit! Any recommendations my friends? What's your favorite casino to go to?
VEGAS... GET READY!!!
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
I went into this 48th birthday wondering what wisdom could I offer up to others that I have learned over the last year? Have I learned ANYTHING since I turned 47? I believe I have and I hope you indulge my random, typically meandering thoughts. If you can believe it ... I am more mellow than last year. 😜 LOL I even chuckled at that statement myself, but I AM!
In random order as usual:
I find myself just sitting back and observing more before I make a statement or reacting. Instead of flying off the cuff and saying something which I would regret, I take a breath and a moment to collect my thoughts. I make a conscious choice to stand back and formulate a well thought-out opinion before responding. This is probably my favorite nugget of wisdom from turning 48.
Sometimes you think someone doesn't care for you but you are wrong. I don't mind being wrong in that circumstance. For years I thought that this certain person avoided me. But then they approached me and I had the warmest encounter with them. I was kinda shocked, but pleasantly so. We had a really good convo and then reconnected later online. Was really cool and made my vacation.
It IS possible to become friends with someone after a major falling out. You just take baby steps in reconnecting. You can forgive but just don't forget. You may become more cautious in your interactions but that's OK too.
I have also found this year that those you were once close with can turn so quickly against you showing the most hateful vitriolic side you wouldn't believe could exist in someone. It hurts but you move on. And you also drop them as quickly as possible. No one needs that.
I WILL STATE THIS: If my relationship with you is causing me stress, look for me to avoid contact with you or I will simply cut you out with no apologies. Life is too short for me to be getting stressed out over drama from people that I am not even close with.
I've witnessed a relationship that dissolved badly into divorce. Then the ex took his own life and my friend still remembered him for the man he was, the father of the children he helped bore, the children he helped raise, and she threw a memorial for him. It made me think that we need to come around and even after our relationships dissolve and recognize what that person has given us. I was so impressed with what she did. Maybe it was for her children but it showed the most incredible strength and maturity that I have seen in many years. She is an incredibly strong woman.
If I see drama happening near me in a social setting, I will move away and avoid it. I've had enough since my youth to last me many many life times.
As one gets older, one becomes more attracted to someone's personality before their looks.
My hope for this world lies in the younger generation of my niece and nephew, not mine or the older generations. I do not have hope that the men and women currently in power will save this world. I just pray that they will not destroy it before the younger generation comes of age.
I have so enjoyed watching my nephew Johnny and niece Angelica grow up. Seeing my nephew graduate was just as exciting and wonderful and emotional as watching my niece graduate two years ago. Love those kiddos more each year.
I am still just as social, if not more, as I get older. However, I love and cherish my alone time.
I am seeing more beauty in simple things. The beautiful sounds of a desert bird. The smells of desert sage. The hot desert sun warming me during a hike.
|48 aint so bad! New tatt!|
I tend to savor flavors more. I am drawn to more spicy foods. I also seek out new culinary experiences. This recent trip out to Southern California, I sampled grilled rattlesnake, tasked like chicken ... really! 😊 I tried Mexican tamarind candy. Very interesting, tasted sweet and sour. I also had dinner at the Hawaiian Homestyle restaurant in Lakeside, CA enjoying ahi poke' as an appetizer as well as deep friend Spam musubi! Both were so good. (www.homestylehawaiian.com) In West Hollywood at the restaurant Ago, I also enjoyed a creamy-dreamy Italian Burrata appetizer and a rich savory wild boar ragu over pappardelle pasta. (http://agorestaurant.com/) I think I fell in love with that meal. Thank you Cousin Bob!
I try to live in the moment and realize the important of putting social media and electronics aside.
Sometimes things end badly and it takes a strong person to not fall apart and accept the negative ending. Sometimes you need to do it with a stiff upper lip and move on. It's OK if you get emotional too though. Just get through those emotions the best you can.
I am still learning things about my mother since her death that I did not know about and that makes me smile. I never knew that my Grandpop called her "Goldilocks" and he called his granddaughter, my sister Sheryl, the same. In addition, my niece showed me a quote from my mother that she would attach to correspondence to her. Just knowing something such as a quote that my mother loved fills my heart. I will post it at a later time.
I am convinced more than ever that my mother watches over me in heaven and is my guardian angel.
Sometimes it is better to not plan events and let them happen as they man. You will be less disappointed. Being spontaneous can lead you to the best interactions and experiences with people. I was in Hollywood wanting a nightcap at the hotel bar. I went back and forth on whether I should go down for a drink, driving my sister crazy in the hotel room. I was all dressed up from dinner and wired on two espressos. I followed my gut instinct and went down for a drink enjoying a great couple hours meeting and talking with people at the bar. It was such a fun evening and I'm so glad I did it!
It's OK to let your guard down.
I never thought I would love my sister Sheryl and brother Adam more and yet every year I do! Family has become everything.
I am 48 and proud of my age. Thankfully I am blessed with good genetics (thanks Mom and Dad) and I find that a youthful attitude is key to keep me acting and feeling young. I am also always looking to have fun and definitely don't take myself too seriously. There is nothing special about me and anyone can benefit from this type of attitude.
Take control of your life and have some fun! I have no major regrets. Well... maybe that Asian tattoo that doesn't mean what it's supposed to... (I'll repost that blog at another time!)
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
|"Enjoying a beer flying the friendly skies!"|
Airlines promote separation of the classes!
When I fly, I know that the one thing I insist upon is an aisle seat. I used to want the window seat. No longer. You can have it. The pics you will take will come out crummy anyway. TRUST ME. I like the option of getting up for the bathroom without having to climb over people. And as I get older, my poo cycles are VERY important to this 48 year old man.
I don't mind any seat really. Emergency seat, over the wing, front, back, its all good. Well may there is one exception I am experiencing right now. I am in the last row of the plane, with the bathrooms right behind me! i am hearing every high powered vacuumed swoosh of the toilet flushing. Luckily no smells yet 3 hrs into this 6 hour flight.
I am also hearing the gossiping and chatter of the flight attendants. I love it. Nothing really that bad. The one gal says to the male flight attendant, can you please go to 15E, I just can't go again. And he's all like, OK sister, but you owe me for this one! And she said DEAL! LOL
The flight attendants finally started taking beverage orders. I was gonna have a bloody mary with my sis Sheryl but she passed out next to me. (I stayed over her house last night and I think we each got only 4 hours of sleep!) I DID NOTICE that the flight attendants took first class's beverage order before we got off the ground! And THEN, they left their lights on while they darkened the rest of the plane's lights for take off! What are we not light worthy back in the peasant section??? Isn't light a basic human right??? OK, well maybe that's a stretch...
UGH, side bar, got the first bathroom poo whiff! Hurl!
After some stale mini pretzels and a good IPA beer, I am enjoying myself on this flight, happily blogging away. Oh, did I mention the "famous" rap artist "TI" is on the flight? I saw him when I was coming in and I was half wanting to crop dust the entire first class. He was quiet, just chilling, wearing his ice as rappers do. An older guy in front of me knew who he was and said hi discretely. TI politely said hi back.
|35 Rows Back!!!!|
SO here am I all the way back in the last row and 35 rows up I think I see TI waiting in line for the bathroom! Well I guess he's gotta go just like all of us, or it's just a build up of gas due to airplane pressure. That happens to EVERYONE! Hahaha. I was thinking of inviting him back to join us peasants in rows 31-35 back in front of the bathrooms! I'll give up my sisters seat to TI! LOL But honestly, no offense to TI, this could be another celebrity or first class person whom I'd give grief to. My simmering peasant anger knows no bounds!
Second side bar, someone just breathed their airplane halitosis breath on me! UGH!
I actually fly in first class on a flight once!. I was in my 20s and was traveling with (surprise surprise) my sister Sheryl. The flight attendant asked me if I wanted to be bumped up to first class on them. I looked at Sheryl and she graciously told me to take it for she'd already experienced first class and wanted me too. She said she'd be alright in coach and for me to enjoy it. She barely got the final part out and I was already grabbing my inflight magazine and Walkman and made a bee-line for the first class cabin.
I settled into what seemed like the most comfortable pleather lazy boy EVER and ordered a beer. Everything was so nice and smelled so good. There were even fresh flowers in the bathroom! I came out of the bathroom and announced it to everyone "They've got FRESH-CUT flowers in the can!" as if I'd never seen them before. I got complimentary headphones, a pillow and a blanket. The snacks even seemed better.
But, alas, for all of the finery and trappings, I did not truly enjoy the experience. I tried to but I spent pretty much the entire trip worrying about my sister stuck back in coach! AND I wanted to experience it with her too, not some stuffy business man next to me.
Hell, maybe next time I'll march up to first class and drag that rapper TI back with me and give his first class seat to my sister! :)
Thursday, May 31, 2018
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
|(Photo by Anata Nsg from Pexels.com)|
I was going through mounds of paperwork several weeks ago and happened upon a folded-up copy of an article from years ago which had been given to me by a close family friend, Marianna. I have wrote about her before, she was one of my Dad's closest friends and went by the nickname Tia.
Tia was in the education field, a writer, artist and truly a romantic at heart. She was constantly spouting off euphemisms about living life to the fullest or how love trumps all. She was wonderful to have around and she remained close to my family until her passing.
The article (with no byline) originally came from a Cosmo magazine from 1993 but I modified some of it so that it's pretty fun for anyone. Don't worry dudes, you won't melt just by reading an old Cosmo list! LOL.
I do not claim the list as my own and as I stated prior, have only modified it so it may appeal to both sexes or is more in tune with present times. However, a couple items were kept how they were originally written to show how much our times have changed. How many have you done? When Tia had given me the article, I had already done over 36 so I was on my way! I show my updated number at the end of the post! 😊
I do not claim the list as my own and as I stated prior, have only modified it so it may appeal to both sexes or is more in tune with present times. However, a couple items were kept how they were originally written to show how much our times have changed. How many have you done? When Tia had given me the article, I had already done over 36 so I was on my way! I show my updated number at the end of the post! 😊
Here they are in no particular order with my comments following each. I divided each into sets of ten so it's a bit easier on the eyes for reading. Enjoy this fun list. It makes you think and gives you some ideas on what you could be doing with your life!
- Give your mother 50 red roses and tell her you love her.
- Learn to speak a foreign language, make sure you use it.
- Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France. (Does a pond in Skook County count?)
- Have a love affair in Paris.
- Get dressed up and enjoy an evening at the opera, ballet, or symphony. (How about the Strausstown rodeo?)
- Spend a whole day eating everything you've been told is bad for you, without feeling guilty.
- Be an extra in a film.
- Tell someone the story of your life, sparing no details. (Maggie's and my road trip to see Nance!)
- Make love on a forest floor or the beach. (Too much sand, trust me!)
- Make love on a train or a plane.
- Learn to roller-skate. (Or how about ice staking, snow boarding, or skiing?)
- Own a room with a view. (Nailed it.)
- Learn how to take a compliment.
- Buy a round-the-world air ticket, a rucksack, and run away.
- Change your hairstyle totally or decide to grow/shave that beard!
- Tell some spin-chilling ghost stories around a campfire.
- Have your portrait painted.
- Put your name down to be a passenger on the first tourist shuttle to the moon.
- Send a message in a bottle. (Mine came back empty. LOL)
- Discover your own personal style. (Nerd-jock)
- Terrify yourself by parachuting, white-water rafting, or rock-climbing. (How about bungee jumping? NOPE to all, LOL.)
- Ride a camel in the desert.
- Get to know your neighbors. (I'm SO lucky.)
- Swim with a dolphin.
- Plant a tree.
- Learn NOT to say yes when you mean NO.
- Make love on the kitchen table. (Note to self, clean table afterwards, LOL.)
- Throw an enormous party and invite every one of your friends. (I called the cops on my own graduation party in '88.)
- Have the ultimate luxury-hotel experience with champagne and caviar. (Done!)
- Write a fan letter to your all-time favorite hero/heroine. (Now what is Bugs Bunny's current address?)
- Visit the Senate and House of Representatives to see how Congress really works.
- Get your father to teach you how to waltz properly. (Wow very DATED. How about having your Mom teach you the Twist? My Mom did!!)
- Eat jellied eels from a stall in London. (NOPE.)
- Be the boss. (But don't let Diana Ross know, she'll be pissed.)
- Fall deeply, helplessly, and unconditionally in love.
- Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia. (I'd settle for the Orient Express too!)
- Write that novel you know you have inside of you, compose, that poem, paint that picture. (Work in progress.)
- Go to Walden Pond and read Thoreau while drifting in a canoe. (Actually, I'd rather read Hemingway at Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West!)
- Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home. (Done, several times. God I enjoyed my 20s!)
- Dress sexy, provocatively. (Ugh, I can barely make sure that I have no stains on my work clothes from lunch time.)
- Sing as loudly as you possibly can from the top of a mountain. (How about just bad karaoke at a dive bar?)
- Dive off the side of a yacht into the turquoise Aegean. (Caribbean is good too.)
- Become someone's mentor. (Done! And a good friend is now MY mentor.)
- Do a hair-raising lap in a race car! (Commuting to work does NOT count.)
- Pamper yourself with a facial or spa day. (Girls AND guys!)
- Shower in a waterfall.
- Ask for a raise. (For all you private-sector peeps.)
- Learn to play a musical instrument with some degree of skill. (Done, piano! 10 years of lessons.)
- Blow all your savings and take a flight on the Concorde. (SO DATED! LOL How about just First Class?!)
- Spend a night in a haunted house - all by yourself. (NOPE. BUT I did grow up in one!)
- Stop hiding your true feelings and tell several people what you REALLY think of them. (YEAH! That means YOU! LOL)
- Read the Kama Sutra and put a bit of theory into practice. (I'm too clumsy.)
- Be serenaded from beneath your bedroom window. (And I don't mean by the feral cats of Lake Wynonah!)
- See the northern lights.
- Run a marathon. (Does running late into work count?)
- Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it instead of just thinking about it.
- Experience weightlessness. (NOPE.)
- Ask someone you've only just met to go on a date.
- Drive across America from coast to coast. (We drove around America. I think that counts.)
- Make a complete and utter fool of yourself. (Um, EVERY TIME I BARTEND.)
- Own one very expense suit, dress, shoes, bag, etc. (Ties count!)
- Make your will.
- Sleep under the stars. (Maine. Just beautiful.)
- Take a ride on a roller coaster.
- Learn how to complain effectively - and do it! (How about whining? I do that VERY well.)
- Go wild in RIO during Carnival. (How about Mardi Gras in New Orleans?)
- Leave home. (Hear that Millennials? LOL)
- Spend a whole day curled up on your bed reading a great novel.
- Forgive your parents. (Done and with greater happiness as a result.)
- Learn to change a tire.
- Write love letters to your gal or guy.
- Learn to juggle with three balls. (Most guys can't even handle two balls. 😉)
- Sunbathe naked. (Cover the jigglies so they don't burn!)
- Find a job you love! (For most people, sadly this does not occur.)
- Spend the holidays in December on the beach drinking tropical drinks. (I was on Sanibel Island over Xmas in my younger years. Does milk count?)
- Overcome your fear of failure. (Workin' on it!)
- Sing (or be sung to) in a steamy smokey jazz club in NYC or New Orleans.
- Revisit your old school and old haunts from childhood.
- Donate money and put your name on something: a college scholarship, a charity brick, a bench in the park.
- Buy your own house, condo, rent an apartment, and spend time decorating it exactly how you want it to be.
- Appear on TV/Cable and enjoy at least 15 minutes of fame. (Hopefully not on the criminal wanted list!)
- Grow something from seeds! (I like to grow my herbs this way.)
- Take a cruise somewhere!
- Spend three months getting your body into optimum shape.
- Own a convertible and drive everywhere with the top down and music blaring. (At the very least, rent one like I did. I drove down the overseas highway from Miami to Key West!)
- Accept yourself for who you are. (Pretty good on this one!)
- Learn to give a speech in public. (You can't shut me up. Many have tried. LOL)
- Scuba dive or snorkel!
- Go up in a hot-air balloon. (NOPE.)
- Attend a really huge rock concert.
- Kiss someone you've just met on a blind date.
- Be able to handle: tax forms, telemarketers, your bank manager, your boss, your hairdresser, and power drills. (Power drills. Whaaat? LOL)
- Lose more money than you can afford to just one time at a casino in either Atlantic City, Vegas, or Monte Carlo! (Hollywood Casino in Grantville, PA does NOT count.)
- Attend a major sporting event: Wimbledon, the Indy500, the Masters, the Super Bowl, or the World Series. (Don't forget others like the Stanley Cup or the NBA Finals.)
- Walk along a seaside pier in the middle of winter eating hot salty French fries straight from the bag. (I haven't done it with French fries but with pizza!)
- Let someone feed you seedless grapes.
- Kiss the Blarney stone and develop the gift of gab. (Again, I got the gift of gab. You can't shut me up. Where is that darn Blarney Stone???)
- Get dressed up and go to one incredibly swank party or ball. (Annual Henri David Halloween Ball in Philly!)
Hope you enjoyed this. It was fun going through how many I've accomplished! I recounted, and I have accomplished 58! Pretty cool.